Friday 31st May

We have found a carpet, I repeat, we have found a carpet. At least we may have done. For those of you following the ongoing saga that is our quest to get a lounge carpet to match the newly decorated (at least it was in March), and newly furnished in April room, like me you may have thought the day would never come. This morning Mrs P got up and announced that we were choosing a carpet today, a decision needed to be made. So we took back yesterdays selection of samples and went back to our original colour choice. We got five new samples and one actually looks ok. Fingers crossed if we still like it tomorrow we could be in business.

In the afternoon the youngest goes out to play with his mates, I know we were excited too, an afternoon off the xbox and out in the fresh air. Mrs P, the eldest and I go for a walk by the coast. The eldest drives us there and back without too much concern, albeit she doesn’t appreciate her mother’s driving suggestions, though I think that is very much a standard mother-teenage daughter relationship issue. We have a lovely walk with great views and a coffee break at half way. It does pay to make the most of the sunshine, even if you have to make way for the odd cyclist.

After tea jay-le-taxi takes the youngest to cricket practice, then returns to find the eldest has taken to her bed, tired out by the walk with her mother and me. I thought as the youngster she should have more energy than us. I’m then informed she’ll be up in a couple of hours before going off to a party, so maybe she does have more energy than us, as we’ll be settling down with a nice cup of tea for the evening. First though jay-le-taxi has to collect the youngest.

Yours hoping to still like the preferred carpet sample tomorrow.

Jay

Thursday30th May

A leisurely lie in this morning as Mrs P has a couple of days off this week. So it’s bacon sandwiches and tea all round. Then Mrs P joins me in my weekly house cleaning session, though to be fair she takes the lead and I follow. This means the cleaning is done in double quick time. At this point the youngest is revising for next week’s exams and the eldest has just crawled out of bed to watch TV in her pyjamas, whilst eating the breakfast that has been made for her.

Mrs P and I then embark on the continuing quest that is a search for a new lounge carpet. Bearing in mind I finished decorating the room in March we really aren’t doing very well. Once again we return home with four different samples from the carpet shops, and once again when we put them down at home they look different to how they did in the shop, and how I’d imagined they might at home. We’ve gone from one colour to another to neutral and now I think we might go back to where we started. Another option is of course to redecorate the room, so we can get a carpet to match!

After lunch the youngest and I get the train to watch Lancashire playing county cricket. It’s not quite a blistering Summer’s day, in fact the start was delayed because of rain, but they’re well underway after lunch. We pass a pleasant afternoon watching the game and discussing the prospects for the season with our neighbours. As the cost to watch live sport goes in this country, county cricket is pretty competitive (though still not cheap), and a good crowd is well entertained.

Once home I get to go in the loft to find a cable for the youngests old xbox, to replace the one that broke this morning in his current xbox, the upshot of which is it won’t work and a major part of his social life could be in freefall. I find the old box but its empty, making me wonder f I’ve thrown the old xbox out, after all it was broken. However I persist under much encouragement from the youngest and eventually find the broken console in an old TV box, with the required cable. It just goes to show the benefit of not rushing to throw things out, even when they’re broken.

Yours saving the day.

Jay

Wednesday 29th May

Mrs P is up at the usual time for breakfast, but as the teenagers don’t have to be up I decline to join her and decide to have an extra hour in bed. When I do get up I breakfast alone, and then get ready to go out and deliver the papers. At this point the youngest gets up, asking where his breakfast is. I inform him he will need to sort it out himself as I’m going out. He manages to get himself a bowl of cereal and some flapjack bites. This is a great improvement on his sister who when rising mid-morning helps herself to a number of mini muffins.

The streets are quiet this morning. I really don’t know where the kids go in the school holidays, but you don’t see many out and about. Are they all on Xboxes, Play Stations and social media sites? On my return I make myself a decent cup of coffee and settle down to some TV with the eldest. A bit of father-daughter bonding over Series 3 of Friends.

As rain looms in the afternoon I get some grass seed sown in the back garden, for what I hope is a finish to my landscaping, ahem! Then myself and the youngest walk round in the rain to visit the ailing one. He’s recovering slowly, I can’t help feeling a bit of sun would perk him up a bit. I’m sure there must be statistics somewhere that show patients recover quicker in sunnier climes.

In the evening Mrs P, myself and the youngest go out for fish and chips, and jolly good they are, as we stand looking out over the wetlands in the estuary. There is something quintessentially English about the whole scene. I just needed a decent pint in hand to make it perfect, but I was out voted on that one.

Yours patriotically inclined.

Jay

Tuesday 28th May

Ah the joy of half term holidays. I remember halcyon days of Spring’s past when the sun shone, or at least that’s how I think it was in days gone by. Possibly I’m looking through rose tinted spectacles at that one. Suffice to say it’s a pretty miserable looking day, and whilst not raining, it is forecast to. Having made breakfast for Mrs P and myself and put bacon sandwiches under the grill for the teenagers, I wave Mrs P off to work and the youngest appears for his. I have to pop to the butchers first thing and before leaving I make the eldest a cup of tea and instruct the youngest to get her out of bed to have her breakfast, as her nan is picking her up in half an hour. I return to find her up but not moving very fast and when her nan arrives she suddenly realises she’s not dressed! I’m sure teenagers must have their own time zones they operate in. You hand them everything on a plate, and they still can’t move themselves.

The youngest and I are off to officiate at a cricket match today, hence my interest in the weather prospects. We arrive to find not everything ready, but sometimes you just need to go with the flow. The youngest and I have a habit of not agreeing, or to put it another way, the youngest has a habit of disagreeing with me at the moment. This may prove to be problematic. We get the match started because despite the poor forecast the intended rain has not yet arrived. The game is progressing nicely and the youngsters are play well and enjoying the match, but then about half an hour in the rain starts. It’s light at first and not a problem, but an hour and a quarter in it’s becoming heavier and I look across to the youngest to gauge his view and he shakes his head to say “no it’s fine, let’s continue.” In cricket both umpires have to agree to stop, and so we stay out. Now him being a teenage boy he doesn’t mind the rain, I however am now getting wet. The spectators have by this time put away their umbrellas and chairs, and gone into the club house to watch from the dry. Eventually an hour and a half after the start we eventually agree with each other that it is raining too much and we take the teams off. To be fair to us the coaches were impressed and pleased that we stayed out as long as we did. We then spend the next couple of hours watching the rain and waiting for tea before we call the match off, as the available playing time expires. Given we only had the one minor debate, it’s been a very successful day out for me and the youngest.

After making tea and washing up after it, I take the eldest out driving in the rain. We try a new route and by and large it goes well. As ever we have a couple of moments which are obviously my fault, despite the fact it’s not me driving, but the laughter outweighs them by far. I only hope the examiner has a sense of humour.

Yours drying out.

Jay

Friday 24th May

So dawns the morning of the eldest’s last AS exam. It certainly feels like we’ve all been through the mill with her, but she’s worked hard and will hopefully get the marks she deserves. That means she has both next week, which is half term, and the following week, which is a study leave week, off. I’m not sure if she’s happier about finishing her exams or getting two weeks off. The youngest by contrast will have to revise through half term as his exam week is the following week. He’s a bit more phlegmatic about these things though, so it shouldn’t be quite as tense in the Perry household as it has been.

Having fed them breakfast, seen them off and tidied up, I’ve a day of jobs ahead of me. First stop is a bit of landscaping in the garden, though I’m possibly over selling it. Basically my borders and lawn run into each other, and not in a straight line. So I’ve got some old skirting board and intend to insert this between the two to give me clean edges and nicely defined borders. Apart from hitting the odd root and the odd rock it goes well, and whilst I don’t expect to be invited to exhibit at the Chelsea Flower Show next year, it’s a definite improvement.

The morning having pretty much disappeared I pop out for petrol, beer (I know exciting times), and to collect the prescriptions I requested the other day. My opinion of Mrs P’s GP’s new location in the local hospital has not changed from Tuesday. On second inspection it still feels clinical, but not in a good way. There is no warmth to the place.

After lunching on my own, as the eldest went to a friends for hers I cut the grass and tidy up some of the debris created by the recent high winds. Catkins might look nice but they get everywhere and are a right pain. Then the eldest calls and jay-le-taxi goes to pick her up from the station, only to find that she in her wisdom has decided to get off at a different stop to the one we agreed on this morning! Once home I decide to burn some old papers plus some garden debris in a bin I have for this purpose. Now that we have to pay if we want to have our garden waste bin emptied, I may well be burning more than anticipated. Today’s lesson learnt was that moss produces a lot of smoke for a long time, but fortunately the high winds dispersed it pretty well.

Then I’m on to the usual run of ironing, making tea, clearing up after tea, and then jay-le-taxi drops the youngest at cricket practice. The eldest is off to a party this evening at a friend’s house and during tea when asked what time she wanted collecting, informs us she is sleeping over. Mrs P and I are somewhat surprised as this is news to us, although the eldest is sure she had told us before. Do every generation think they are the first ones to do these things? Teenagers don’t seem to realise that whilst we might seem old, parents were once teenagers too, and everything they’re doing now, we did in our time. Jay-le-taxi is due to drop her at her party, on the way to collect the youngest, but surprise surprise she’s not ready. How long does it take to get dressed? So I go for the youngest and she has to wait. Eventually I’m back to pick her up and get her to her party albeit a bit late, and head home for a reviving cup of tea. Do I think her punctuality will improve? Not a chance. 

Yours been there and done that.

Jay

Diary of a House Husband will be back on Tuesday 28^th May
 

Thursday 23rd May

Having waved Mrs P off to work, the eldest to her exams and the youngest to school, I put my coat on to walk along the road to my invigilation. I’ve another double shift today. This morning’s exam requires only that students bring a black pen, a calculator and a ruler, and for the c60 pupils who are sitting the exam we need to provide 20 calculators and 25 rulers. Incredible that more than one in 3 students can’t turn up with the right equipment, and let’s be honest we’re not talking a complicated kit list here. The rain is coming down hard and sounds far worse than it is on the metal roof of the sports hall, until of course the rain starts leaking through! A strategically placed bucket helps to catch most of it. Fortunately the invigilators seem far more distracted than the pupils.

I lunch alone as the eldest is staying in school for a second exam this afternoon. It has been lovely lunching with her for most of the week and I miss her today. There are c120 in for this afternoon’s exam and being English it only requires a working black pen which most pupils do manage to turn up with. The rain has gone but now the wind sounds like it is trying to rip the roof off, though once again the pupils seem remarkably unmoved. Whoever designed the sports hall with this metal roof may well have had an eye on the cost, and not on the quality.

While cooking tea I do the ironing which seems like I’m almost multi-tasking. Maybe I’m turning from a househusband to a housewife; then again maybe I’ve just had too much time to think this week as I’ve been standing invigilating. The youngest is not impressed with the pasta dish I present for tea but allows for the fact that the warm bread provided should help him eat just a small amount. The next time I look his way he’s cleared his plate. Maybe I’m getting the hang of at least some parts of being a househusband.

Yours, on the turn.

Jay

Wednesday 22nd May

Up early this morning to finish sorting out the papers for this mornings round. The delivery time to me on a Tuesday evening can be anything from 8pm-12pm in my experience. If it is after 11pm they tend to get left outside for the night. I only got half way through sorting them out last night, so finished the rest this morning before getting breakfast ready for the family; well most of us. The eldest was having an extra hour in bed because her exam today was in the afternoon. It was breezy but warm on the round this morning, perfectly pleasant conditions, although for some reason I couldn’t quite fathom I felt a bit lethargic.

Back home I made myself a coffee and the eldest a cuppa then got lunch ready for us. I look forward to the day she makes lunch for me, though I suspect she is not dissimilar to most teenage girls. I wish her luck as I see her off to her exam and then pop into town to go to the kids bank. I’ve a cheque to pay in and need to convert one of the accounts to one paying a higher interest rate. I’d have thought it might have been done automatically as the bank previously changed their accounts without asking us, but no if it involves you getting more interest (though still a low rate) you need to ask.

It’s blowing a gale when I get home but at least the washing is dry, giving me no excuse for not doing the ironing before getting tea ready for all. The eldest’s exam went well, which was great news, only three to go now and she can relax. On this evenings perambulation Mrs P mentions that in a months’ time the days will be getting shorter, and she’s right. Summer needs to hurry up and make its mark before it misses its chance. Staycations are not looking that attractive this year unless the temperature rises by at least 15°c.

Yours dreaming of sun kissed beaches.

Jay

Tuesday 21st May

I swear summer is just around the corner, but it certainly doesn’t feel like it as I walk down to the library on a cool overcast day. It’s a quiet morning which lets me clear my email and wade through the ever increasing number of offers I get these days. It’s almost a source of pride these days when you actually pay full price for something. There was a nice old gent who came to speak to me this morning, to tell me he was going to be getting a computer. It took him twenty minutes to tell me, but he was a nice man and sometimes you just need to sit back and enjoy these experiences.

I wander back home at lunch time to make lunch for me and the eldest who is now on study leave. It’s nice to have her home to eat with, but she does subject me to a poor TV show, which is the quid pro quo for her company. After tidying up I get out my bicycle to ride to Mrs P’s GP to order a repeat prescription. Before I’ve got very far on the bike, my legs are aching. I really am out of practice on the bike, and must get out more. The GP’s has moved into a local hospital’s grounds, which means I have to search to find it. I eventually find the GP’s surgery on the second floor of the new hospital building. It feels soulless, not at all like a traditional welcoming GP’s practice. More like a corporate version of what’s best for you. Is that progress?

After doing the ironing and making tea, I partake of what is now becoming a regular evening perambulation with Mrs P. To round off the day I print off a couple of driving test routes and the eldest takes me out, and whilst I shout out the directions she drives round the route. An interesting experience, and if she could avoid hitting kerbs it could be a pleasant one.

Yours slightly traumatised.

Jay

Monday 20th May

We’re all up early this morning, and after breakfast variously consisting of cereal, toast, croissants, tea and juice, ready to face the day. The Perry household uses a teapot at breakfast and has done for a few years now. It used to be just Mrs P and me which means we got a mug and a half each. Recently the eldest has joined us in the morning tea ritual which means it’s now one mug each. It’s lovely to see her growing up and getting new tastes, but she is in danger of generating a tea addiction, especially when at home revising. Still, as a parent of a teenager I’ve got to be pleased if that’s the worst it gets.

I’m invigilating this morning and we’ve got c120 kids in for English Literature. They are well behaved and the time passes smoothly. It must be a reasonable exam as most are writing until close to the end. Then I’m off to see a friend whose birthday it is, to treat him to a birthday coffee. Nothing too flash mind, so we’re in a local Mac’s (coffee only, no food) and once again astounded by the amount of trade they’re getting. Lots of workmen, business people and young families.

After lunch with Mrs P and the eldest who had General studies AS level this morning, which meant she left the house this morning carrying all of two black biro’s, I’m back to invigilation. It’s Biology this afternoon, for which in addition to a black pen you need a calculator and a ruler. Out of c60 kids, half don’t have a ruler and half don’t have a calculator, and some don’t have either. Baden-Powell would be turning in his grave.

The ailing one came out of hospital today. Just four days after a triple heart bypass he is home. Great news for him after exactly four weeks in hospital, and great news for mum who doesn’t have to travel for visiting every day. Modern medicine really can be wonderful, in days gone by in his situation, you’d more than likely have been dead sooner rather than later. I pop round to visit and he’s looking ok given what he’s been through, now it’s just a case of taking one day at a time.

In the evening Mrs P and I are off to the theatre to see Priscilla Queen of the Desert, with Jason Donovan no less, and it’s a delight. As camp as christmas and great fun, I find myself alternately laughing out loud and singing along, a very nice evening out for us.

The teenagers are of an age they can happily be left together, and we reuturn to find the youngest has emptied the dishwasher and set the table for breakfast. Now we just need to work out how to get his sister that well trained.

Yours singing along to disco.

Jay

Friday 17th May

Big day on the exam front in the Perry household, and Mrs P drops the eldest into school early, as we both spend the day with fingers crossed. I wave off the youngest and then I’m off for double invigilation. That is that both this morning and this afternoon I’m invigilating. It makes me almost feel that I’m back at school.

We had 120 kids in doing Religious Studies this morning, and on reading through the exam paper I wondered why it was called Religious Studies. Apart from one mention of the bible in the first question that was worth two marks, there was no other obvious religious content of any type or faith in an exam lasting ninety minutes. It was all about corporate and social responsibility, which is fine, but why not say that when you name the paper? If the aim was to take religion out of Religious Studies, it has certainly been achieve;, and I can’t help wondering if it’s to avoid upsetting people. The lunatics really are running the asylum on that one.

Spanish in the afternoon is interesting. For the Listening paper you play a DVD which reads the questions out in Spanish for the pupils to answer. The fun bit is the five minutes reading time it gives pupils at the beginning, which is five minutes of silence from the DVD, which had us invigilators wondering if the machine had broken, and greatly relieved when the questions came on. Five minutes of complete silence in a school hall with 60 pupils feels like an eternity.

Later in the afternoon I went to visit the ailing one and was astounded how well he looked for a man who the day before had undergone major surgery. As he sat tucking into sausage, eggs, beans, potato cakes and mushrooms, whilst being fed painkillers intravenously, I wondered quite what all the fuss had been about. It was certainly a relief to see him come through everything so well and major credit must go to the NHS for that.

The eldest was texting jolly messages, and having finished her three AS level exams she was in high spirits. We gave her the evening off being the kind modern parents we are. Later on Mrs P and jay-le-taxi went to collect the youngest before settling down to some simple, non taxing telly. So far so good for the Perry family on the exam front but once the eldest finishes the youngest starts, so we really are taking it one step at a time. It’s just that time of year.

Yours grateful for modern medicine.

Jay

Thursday 16th May

A quiet morning down at the library which enables me to get most of the weekend’s papers read and have a crack at the crossword. The problem with the big crossword on the weekend is whoever sets those feels the need to show off their obscure knowledge, particularly of Greek Mythology and astral constellations. However I feel that is what Google and Wikipedia were invented for, and at least by looking the answers up I’m educating myself.

Half way through the morning I pop into the doctors next door for an appointment I’d made on the way in this morning. I know some people may find it hard to believe you can see a doctor on the day you want to, but trust me you can. Looking around the waiting room I was pleasantly surprised by the spread of people there, though admittedly the majority were either elderly or young kids with their mums, which I guess is fairly common across the country.

I get away with a little light dusting in the afternoon as I’m under orders not to disturb the eldest who is head down revising as she has three AS level exams tomorrow. Sounds ridiculous I know, but it’s just the way the schedule falls for her. After tea Mrs P and I take another evening stroll, it is getting to be almost a regular occurrence, in the same way when you ask the youngest if anything interesting happened at school today, he replies, no.

Yours becoming a creature of habit.

Jay

Wednesday 15th May

Early start for me this morning, as I’m back into the summer GCSE Invigilation season. Early being a relative concept when you’re a house husband. After my hope that summer was arriving it is bucketing down this morning, so I’m hiding under a large golf umbrella as I walk to the school. All is going well until I stand on a wobbly paving stone and water shoots up to soak my other foot. Aesthetically, paving stones are much nicer than tarmac but tarmac doesn’t move.

It’s a two hour exam which gives me plenty of thinking time, but it’s funny how the thoughts don’t come and the time just drifts peacefully by. There is no great excitement during the exam and everything proceeds as it should. By the time I come out the rain has stopped which is useful as I’ve got the papers to deliver.

After lunch it’s bright and breezy as I deliver the papers. Unfortunately the end of my round coincides with a local primary school finishing, and I am amazed at the haphazard and in some cases frankly dangerous parking by the assorted parents and grandparents. Traffic for an hour while the schools around here kick out in the afternoon is bad, but the parking really is the icing on the cake.

I get home in time to do the ironing before putting together what can only be described as an eclectic tea, combining celery soup, gammon, pizza, Bombay potatoes, chips and salad. Trust me it tasted better than it sounds.

In the evening Mrs P the teenagers and myself go to visit the ailing one in hospital, it being the night before the big operation, and find him in good spirits having been moved to a different ward in anticipation of tomorrows events. On returning home I get to watch football on TV for the second evening running which is a nice result for me.

Yours enjoying the football.

Jay

Tuesday 14th May

High tension in the Perry household this morning, as it marked the first of the eldest’s AS exams. We were all assembled on time for breakfast, and this morning it ran like clockwork. After waving the kids and Mrs P off, I walked down to the library in the sun. Am I starting to think summer might actually be around the corner?

A quiet morning in the library, but on the plus side there was a selection of chocolate digestives to go with my mid-morning cup of tea. Had one chap in asking how to put punctuation around foreign words, and I gave him a solution, however, typically, I found a better one later on. It’s nice to know I’m still learning as well, and to be honest I’ve a long way to go. On the way back up the road the sun had disappeared! Oh well, it was nice while it lasted.

I lunched with mother then we went to visit the ailing one in hospital. His operation is this week, and to be honest the sooner the better, but the nerves are starting to show. We’d finished chatting about the new news in the last 24 hours, and what he’d had to eat, the food being not at all bad for a hospital, when a couple of his golfing pals turned up, so we all adjourned to the day room for quite a jolly chat. One of the guys has had the operation and is as fit as a fiddle, so he was describing his experience, which was quite entertaining. They don’t have signs up saying it in the hospital, but sometimes laughter is the best medicine.

Got home just ahead of the rain, and rescued the washing off the line. The eldest came in having had a good exam this morning (much to everyone’s relief), but she now has to prepare for three more on Friday. That is going to be a long day. I can’t imagine how her hand will feel after that much writing. The youngest came in and as usual had nothing to report. I knock off the ironing then prepare a chicken and pasta bake, which turns out well. At least everyone cleared their plates, so either they liked it or they were all hungry.

After tea Mrs P and I go for a promenade to get some air and discourse on the day’s events. She worries people will see us and think either a) They’re together! or b) We’re slightly odd as we don’t have a dog and we’re not jogging, like most of the other people we pass.

For those of you following the Olympic Holiday saga, I got a response to one of my emails yesterday and they have done what was requested. So that is a pleasing outcome, it is just a shame the contact process was initially so difficult.

Yours, taking the air.

Jay

Monday 13th May

Not unexpectedly but still rather disappointingly there has been no reply from Olympic holidays, following on from Fridays failed attempts to get a response from them. We have now spent around an hour on the phone failing to get to speak to anyone, but listening to a lovely message encouraging us to book more holidays and add-on’s with them. I expect a holiday with them might be lovely, but trying to get in contact with them is a nightmare. I sent a further email today and got a reply saying we’d be contacted within 48 hours. Well the clock is running, and given it is now over 48 hours and the previous email has not been responded to I am not holding my breath. I may just resort to posting a letter, as modern technology seems beyond them.

We are still walking on eggshells in the Perry household as the eldest starts her AS level exams tomorrow and calm must prevail. To be fair she has worked very hard and Mrs P and I just hope she gets the results her efforts deserve. The youngest also has his nose to the grindstone, it being that time of year. Which brings a an unnatural quiet to the house, noise being more the normal order of the day.

In an effort to get to grips with the garden, I cut the grass and swept up outside this afternoon. This is the hors d’oeuvre to the weeding at the weekend. Well you wouldn’t want me to rush into that would you?

Once Mrs P had tested the smoke alarms by cooking sausages, a weekly occurrence here, and we’d tidied up I left the teenagers to their work and went out in the wind to play football. I honestly believe I’m getting worse. It’s not that I expect to improve, but I seem to be going backwards at an alarming rate. On my return I sat out the back and Mrs P cut my hair, well she took the razor to it at any rate. I don’t remember the last time it was warm when I had my hair cut, but I’m sure it’s just around the corner.

Yours not turning professional any time soon.

Jay

Friday 10th May

Funny thing but this morning I planned to reseal around the bath, as the old sealant was starting to look a bit off. Now as per acceptable DIY strategy I had been thinking about this for a number of months, so I felt I’d considered most angles and would go ahead. As usual the bit that takes the longest and creates the most mess is getting the old sealant out, but I was pleased to accomplish this without stabbing myself. I managed to get the new sealant down reasonably well, but there was, as there always seems to be, one bit where it wouldn’t settle. As I added more to this bit and smoothed around it I disturbed other bits and like ripples on a pond the imperfections spread. In the end I cut my losses and stopped, if I’d carried on we might have lost the bath.

Took my mother to visit the ailing one at the hospital, and whilst I was there I tried to phone Olympic Holidays on his behalf, as he needs to cancel a booking, and they need to speak to the first named passenger. After nearly 30 minutes listening to their adverts and being told someone would be with me soon I gave up, and instead we sent them an email which got an auto-reply promising a call back from Olympic Holidays. Suffice to say that half a day later we have had no call back, but I’ll let you know what happens.

Mrs P was out for the evening and Jay-Le-Taxi dropped the youngest off out, and then collected him later. In the meantime, between revision sessions the eldest and me watched some TV together which was nice, as we haven’t had much chance to do that recently. Looking out the window this evening the sky was a beautiful pink and purple colour, it’s funny how nature can make you feel small.

Yours in danger of doing something of value.

Jay

Thursday 9th May

How is it that you watch the weather forecast on the BBC at 8am in the morning and it tells you the rain will be hosing down by 10am, and carry on until late afternoon? As a result of this information you decide not to hang out your washing. Then what happens? A brief light shower followed by winds that would have dried the washing perfectly by lunchtime. Only problem is my washing is in the basket on the kitchen floor, still wet. The upshot of this being I have to put it in the drier when I get home at lunchtime, and some of the promised rain eventually appears. I know it is only a forecast, but more often than not its rubbish. How can you get a weather forecast in the morning so wrong? I sometimes think you should just stick your head out of the window, and there you go, that’s the weather!

A friend of mine who is a driving instructor used me to practice teaching an experienced driver this afternoon. Something which instructors are assessed on every few years. It was interesting to see how many bad habits I have picked up over the years, and the upshot was that I wasn’t too bad. I don’t check blind spots, and I don’t always look in my rear view mirror as much as I might, oh and my hands are not exactly at ten-to-two on the steering wheel; but on balance I’m pretty OK, which I have to say I was both surprised and pleased by.

This meant I was late getting to the housework and Mrs P had to put on tea when she came in, which as she was hungry didn’t go down too well. But we rallied together and got it ready, and while I tidied up Mrs P did the ironing and the teenagers revised. What a picture of domestic bliss we were this evening.

Yours fit for the road

Jay

Wednesday 8th May

Well summers over, despite the fact its still spring. Two days of lovely weather and now we’re back to wind and rain, which is not to be honest, the best weather for delivering papers in. Still, having fed and watered the family and seen them out of the door this morning, I was off on the paper round. I got cloud, I got wind, I got rain and eventually I very briefly got sunshine. Bumped into an older chap I know while I was on the round and had virtually the same conversation I had with him last week. It must be my version of Groundhog Day.

I then ran a series of errands, bank, butchers, collecting clothes that had been ordered and returning carpet samples (and in case you’re wondering we still can’t find one that works).

Now due to the condition of the ailing one, certain things that have been pre-booked need to be cancelled, and it falls to me to do this, which is not a problem as they need sorting. So it is I find myself on the phone to Best Western to cancel a hotel room booking. It’s a non-refundable rate but under the circumstance, that is the ailing one being in hospital awaiting a major operation, they will let us change the date. That’s the good news; the bad news is we’ve got 48 hours to pick a new date! How we are meant to know when he’ll be fit for a night away I really don’t know. So I do the only logical thing to me, that is I book for the same day next year. I can’t say I was very impressed with Best Western’s empathy on this one. Why they needed the revised date virtually immediately, and couldn’t wait until he was on the mend I don’t understand, but there you have it, another example of British customer service at its best.

I do the ironing, I get the tea ready, I take the eldest out driving, it really is all go for the modern house husband.

Yours in danger of becoming a grumpy old man.

Jay

Tuesday 7th May

It’s getting a little tenser in the Perry household as exam time approaches. The eldest seems to be revising all the hours’ god sends, but doesn’t think she’s got enough time to get it all done, before she starts next Tuesday. While the youngest is just starting to apply himself, his exams being after half term in early June. So it is that Mrs P and I find ourselves acting like the United Nations in employing the necessary diplomacy to negotiate teenage moods and retain harmony in our little world.

Once again at the library this morning I was helping an elderly couple who wanted to register and pay online to get their garden waste removed by the council. You get a £5 discount for doing it online. The problem is a lot of elderly folks don’t use computers, so when they come to pay, they have to register their bank cards for verification for security purposes, and some banks/cards are easier than others to register. Whilst it’s easier for the council if people pay online, it does show a bias against people who are not computer literate, as with so many things local and national government do today.

After lunch I take my mother to visit the ‘ailing one’ in hospital. For a change I take a different route, and she sees a more traditional side of the city, terraced streets, local shops and a more multicultural mix. Not the homogenised and sanitised buildings on the main route. Where all the new houses look the same and the same franchises inhabit the retail parks.

After tea Mrs P and I attend a meeting at the eldest’s school about applying for universities; a lot of information in a short time. I hadn’t known about the meeting until two hours before, Mrs P found out at breakfast, apparently the eldest had had the letter from school since sometime last month, but it had become lost in her school bag! Not an unusual occurrence around here, but more normally perpetrated by the youngest. Later in the evening the eldest takes me out driving, and very well she does as we negotiate weird junctions that now exist where once there were roundabouts, at least there were there when I was learning to drive all those years ago.

FYI, I did transfer my ISA over the weekend (see Fri 3^rd) I just hope it goes smoothly. I’ll be sure to keep you informed.

Yours ageing fast

Jay

Friday 3rd May

I’m off the mark early this morning starting the cleaning before the teenagers have even left for school. Partly it’s to get it out of the way, and partly it’s because I’m meeting a friend early on for coffee. I have to leave the cleaning part done, as I go out, and meet my friend in a local McDonalds, because believe it or not the coffee is pretty drinkable, the location suits us at the moment, and it is reasonably priced in comparison to many places. The amount of customers they get is frankly astonishing; it really is a licence to print money. We notice as we leave a number of large people sitting in their cars eating burgers, having used the drive thru facility. Something about people who are so obviously overweight who can’t even get out of their vehicles to walk into the restaurant for their burgers doesn’t chime right with me. I do wonder if in the same way pubs shouldn’t serve alcohol to drunks, whether fast food outlets should be serving burgers and chips to morbidly obese people who can’t be bothered to walk twenty yards. Surely we’re just storing up a burden for the NHS in years to come.

Back home I finish off the cleaning and call Santander whom I have an ISA with. The ISA has just finished its fixed term and I know this because I keep a track on it. Santander has made no effort to inform me it is out of term and the interest rate has now dropped to 0.5% or less. I wonder why they didn’t inform me? Could it be because they make more money if they don’t advise me where I can now get the best return on my investment, and instead pay me a paltry return? The publics’ apathy really is one of the banks greatest weapons, as is their own lack of transparency. Suffice to say I will be moving my ISA to another provider in the immediate future.

Later on the eldest drives the youngest to cricket practice and we then go on to pick up her friend to take them both to a party. Her driving is coming along though she still expects other road users to act in a reasonable manner, when it seems a lot of them seeing the L plates take it as an invitation to drive like idiots. Sitting with a learner driver does give you a clear view of just what bad and frankly dangerous drivers many people on the roads are today.

Yours letting it all out

Jay

The Diary will be back on Tuesday 7th May.

Thursday 2nd May

Bacon butties all round for breakfast on what proves to be the sunniest day of the year so far. Jay-le-taxi is out early today dropping the teenagers and two of the eldest’s friends at school. Usually they walk, as is proper, but the eldest had a large number of cakes and cookies to take in for a cake sale to raise money for her Morocco trip. So I did the decent thing and the youngest jumped in as well. With her friend they raised a tidy sum which is all credit to their industry.

I manage to finish the weekend crossword at the library with the help of Messer’s Google and Wikipedia. They do come in useful for naming Greek gods and obscure constellations. I help a few people out this morning including one who had his email address book hacked, something that seems to be ever more popular at the moment. Not malicious but a pain if it happens to you. I wander up to my mum’s for lunch then we’re off hospital visiting to see the ailing one. Traffic through the city is good and when we get there he’s in good spirits, watching the snooker on TV. It’s been on for probably ten days now and the only time I’ve seen it has been at the hospital, maybe my tastes are changing. When we get back in the car it is roasting, and as we drive back it’s nice to see people enjoying the sun and not just wrapped up against the elements. You almost feel summer might be just around the corner.

I drop mum off and stop to sort out their email and pay a couple of bills online for them, then I get to query a hotel booking, it really is all go at the bottom. The eldest makes me a cup of tea when I get in which is in itself worthy of note. I’m halfway through drinking it when mum phones with a computer query that fortunately I can talk her through over the phone. New technology can do wonderful things, but when you’re the one who gets called every time something is slightly unusual ... still they do say patience is a virtue.

After tea I get stuck into the ironing as Mrs P pops out. Then the youngest and I sit down to enjoy some darts on the TV. A bit of father and son quality time together. I did say my tastes were changing; I’m just not so sure if they’re changing for the better.

Yours on the oche

Jay

Wednesday 1st May

A beautiful morning today, and having waved goodbye to Mrs P and the teenagers, I tidy up and set out on the paper round. It seems almost sacrilegious to hurry on such a day and so I stroll, enjoying the day while I can. I pop into the bank and stand queuing behind a chap who hasn’t written a cheque in years and wants the world to know it, but in fact he only causes the irritation levels to rise in the people waiting, as he launches into his recent life story oblivious to the growing queue. The butchers have plenty of staff serving and are a much pleasanter experience.

After lunch I decide to tackle the garden and in particular cutting back a tree. Our local council has decided to start charging for collecting garden waste from the 1^st June, so I’m trying to get as much as possible shifted before then. After that date, like most people, I’ll be taking trips to the local tip. The reality is likely to be bigger queues at the tip on the weekends, and people getting fed up and just fly tipping their waste. But I’m sure the council has thought of this and has a cost saving way to deal with it! Or possibly not.

After a couple of hours of sawing and clipping I get most of what I can in the garden waste bin, leaving enough room for me to cut the grass before it’s next emptied. I’m considering either erecting a compost corner, or burning future garden cuttings and clippings. As and when I make a decision I’ll let you know, though it may take some time to weigh up the pros and cons.

Yours reflecting

Jay

Tuesday 30th Apr

Today turned out to be busier than expected. After feeding the family, tidying up and waving them all of out the door, I’m off walking to the library. It’s a nice morning and a pleasant walk. Tuesday is often quieter than Thursday as far as IT queries are concerned, but today the queries tick over nicely. In addition I learn how to use the all singing all dancing printer/scanner/copier after much pressing of buttons and scratching of my head. At least I learnt how to do one thing on it; but do remember Rome wasn’t built in a day.

I walk home a different way for a change, coming back over the field, and it’s a joy. If you don’t take advantage of these opportunities they pass you by too easily. A quick lunch, collect my mum and we’re off on the hospital visiting run to visit the ailing one. Still no change, he looks well, he’s just waiting for a surgeon to tell him when they’re going to operate. The waiting and not knowing is always the hardest to deal with.

Then it’s back home to make the eldest a post-school cup of tea and get the youngest to hold the step ladder while I stand on the top of it (I know you shouldn’t but ...) to prune our birch tree. I wanted to get it done before the catkins all fall off and I have to spend a lot of time sweeping them up. It’s unusual and frankly quite surprising, for me to be on the front foot with this sort of thing.

Mrs P comes in and we go out for tea, which makes a nice change. The eldest drives as we go to a nice local Italian, as Mrs P says it makes a change from the usual chain restaurants. The teenagers mobile devices thankfully appear only momentarily. We manage to finish Mrs P’s lunchtime crossword, have a sociable family time, and for once I don’t overeat.

Yours feeling content

Jay