Friday 23rd August

General discussions take place today with the teenagers over whether they should go to the cinema, or we should go for a bike ride, or to play some tennis. As a parent I like to give them a bit of choice, even when they don’t seem too keen, to be seen out with me! In the end the decision comes down to tennis at the local leisure centre, but the eldest decides not to play, as she is going out this evening, and needs to get read; and as we know that can take a while for teenage girls.

It used to be I could manoeuvre the rest of the family around the tennis court without breaking into a sweat, much less a jog. Oh for those halcyon days to return. The youngest is hitting it far too hard for me now, and I really do have to decide which balls are worth chasing. Another variable is the fact we have three tennis balls with us, all of varying bounce. So you’re never quite sure what you are going to get. In the end experience triumphs over youth, but only just, and I leave the court sweating, and thinking that next time I might not be so lucky.

That was the fourth day out of five this week that I’ve broken into a sweat. I do believe it’s something of a record for me, and quite possibly not to be repeated.

Yours not troubling Murray.

Jay

The house husband will be back next month ...

Thursday 22nd August

I met a guy first thing this morning at a local gym, for a quick chat. Gyms as you know are not my natural habitat, and it was with some surprise that I saw how busy it was at 9am in the morning. It’s quite possible that people go on the way into work, or even instead of work. Watching the members leaving, looking mostly tired out, made me wonder if being knackered is really the ideal way to start your day.

The eldest walked round to her friends late morning, and after I had made lunch the youngest went out to play football. This left me to do the cleaning and then the paper round. It was hot out this afternoon and I was sweating nicely by the time I’d finished my round. It could be a record for me, breaking into a sweat three times in a week. Perhaps if the gym users got themselves paper rounds, it would let them get up early and still get some exercise, without the gym fees. Just a thought.

On returning home I have a large pile of ironing to get through before making tea. I put the telly on and find some baseball to watch as I get on with the ironing. The more I watch, the more I learn about “america’s game”, and you have to be impressed by any sport where the teams have played 128 games since the beginning of April. It makes you question footballers complaints about being tired.

In the evening the eldest, Mrs P and I, go out for a perambulation through the woods, and around the locale.

Yours taking it as it comes.

Jay

Wednesday 21st August

Road trip today. The eldest and I are off to Bristol to look at the University. I allow 4 hours for a 3 hour journey on the motorway - or in our case this morning six motorways - and it takes almost 4 hours. Having hit a couple of traffic jams I find myself driving around a multi-storey car park in Bristol, looking for a space, then rushing up a hill to arrive exactly on time.

We have an enjoyable tour and as the sun is out we see Bristol in its best light. This is fortunate as in our rush to get out this morning, I forgot to bring any kind of jacket or top to wear, and so was grateful not to be wet or shivering. There is certainly plenty of money being spent on the University based on the amount of building work going on. Which is good to see. We have a nice lunch in a local cafe that I found on Tripadvisor.  It was nice to be sat out eating on a warm afternoon; it makes you feel that the summer has not abandoned us yet. It almost felt like being on holiday with the American waitress who served us.

On the return journey I decide we should take the scenic route, even though it will take a bit longer. After my usual mistake in missing a turning, we find ourselves heading towards the Severn Bridge toll booths! Just in time I manage to get us turned around, and going the right way. We pass places like Ludlow and Shrewsbury, and through quintessentially English villages, with mock Tudor fronts and village halls. It is a delight on a summer’s afternoon to see this beautiful country. The motorway may be quicker – when you can avoid the jams – but you miss so much of what makes our country what it is.

Yours taking the long way round.

Jay

Tuesday 20th August

The eldest phones me this morning when I’m in the library, to say her friend had phoned, and was it ok if she went to Liverpool with her? The thing is we’d arranged to do something after lunch, the teenagers and I, but now she had a better offer! Typical.

I drop in to see the folks on the way home, and show the old man how to put library books on their eReader. That’s one job to tick off the list. They inform me they’re getting a new kitchen put in, which is very nice for them.

After lunch I get a text from the eldest saying she is on the way home, and could we wait for her. I say yes and ask her to text me when she’s getting close and I’ll pick her up at the station. She doesn’t! I get a text when she starts to walk from the station, and so meet her part way. She can spend half her life on her phone but can’t send her dad one simple text!

I’ve got some free passes for a local leisure centre and so we go to have a go on their machines. The kids are naturals. I on the other hand have never really liked exercise, but I manage to use a cycling machine and then a walking machine (though I nearly fall off this), whilst watching some sport on a TV. To finish off I try something called a Cross Trainer. This torture machine makes my arms and legs go in different directions at the same time, and we soon part company.

Yours not getting a gym membership.

Jay

Monday 19th August

The eldest is back bright and early from her Festival, having had a great time, with a rucksack full of kit that heads either straight for the washing machine, or into the garden to air. The tents her and her friends took do not return. It appears standard practice is to buy something cheap and leave it when you leave. There was a rumour that the Red Cross collect them, and then send them abroad. It’d be nice to think someone got some use from the thousands of discarded tents.

Under encouragement from Mrs P, I decide to tidy up the shelf that I put most of my papers and “to-do” stuff on. There’s a lot more than I expect, but when you see papers working out the best mobile phone deal for the kids from 12 months ago, you know it can go in the bin. I didn’t realise how long it was since I’d looked at this stuff.

The youngest goes out to play football with his friends, and the eldest having had little sleep over the weekend goes for a nap. I continue to wonder at the stuff I’ve kept that now resembles rubbish, but I’m sure must have looked valuable at the time I kept it.

I pop to five-a-side in the evening and manage to get a sweat on. So mission accomplished there. I did actually score, well that’s to say the ball hit me and rebounded in. But it counts. At home I push my papers/junk back into a pile. Albeit a smaller one than I had at the start of the day. Looks like it could take the week to get this sorted.

Yours reducing the paper mountain.

Jay

Friday 16th August

The eldest departs early for the V music festival. Dressed in wellies and shorts she looks the quintessential festival goer. She is due back Monday, so it will be just the three of us for the weekend.

I have a meeting at lunch time at a local leisure centre to discuss a business opportunity. The meeting goes well and I need to think over the weekend whether I want to dip my toe back into the world of work. Albeit working for myself.

I spend the afternoon trying to work out what you can and can’t take on low-cost airlines as hand luggage. Plus what does and doesn’t count as hand luggage. It looks a tricky challenge to fly low-cost, when they throw so many extra costs at you. But it’s a challenge I’m going to consider. That is if I can work my way around the websites. I never knew there were so many things I didn’t need on a flight that someone actually wants to sell me. Car parking, hotels, hire cars, seats (I get one anyway so why would I pay extra), meals, etc ...

Yours not buying into the extras.

Jay

Thursday 15th August

It’s A and AS level exam result day today, and the eldest is getting her AS level results. Two of the five are available online from 6am, the others she needs to go into school for. Seems a bit silly that you can get half only online, but that is due to them being from different exam boards. So Mrs P and I take her to school for 8.30am and wait in the car park like expectant fathers, as she goes in to get her other results. Its good news as she has done very well, and Mrs P and I are, as always, very proud of her. Her cousin did very well in her A levels and is off to Durham University to study. I am somewhat jealous given the low cost of beer there. £1.60 per pint in halls!

Mrs P goes off to work and the teenagers and I put a film in the DVD, and sit down for a relaxing morning. The new toilet seat arrives as I’m making lunch. I’d had a text in the morning giving me a time slot of an hour when it would be delivered, and the name of the driver. Excellent service I have to say.

I do the cleaning and collect some prescriptions, and then do the ironing. I do have to keep up the house husband image.

Eventually I get around to fitting the new toilet seat, and fit it does. At this point I feel like applauding, I only hope it’s here to stay. Mrs P brings in pizza for tea which makes a welcome change. I finish the day by helping the eldest pack a rucksack for the music festival she’s off to tomorrow. Dad is still useful for something.

Yours a proud parent as always.

Jay

Wednesday 14th August

The teenagers and I go tenpin bowling this morning. There’s an offer on which makes sense, and so for two hours I try and fail to roll a heavy ball in a straight line. It is a bit embarrassing really, a grown man playing with the bumpers up, but the kids find it more fun that way. We did try one game with the bumpers down, but that didn’t go well.

In the afternoon I order a new toilet seat now that we have identified the one we need. At least I hope we have. The seat we have is completely unhitched now, and so it is something of a balancing act, not to fall off the toilet at the moment. Guess who is getting the blame for that?

I do the ironing and knock up a risotto. The eldest who has gone to see friends’ texts to say she is staying out for tea, and will let us know later when she needs picking up! So fairly typical teenage behaviour. I do the paper round in the evening, which is a nice bit of fresh air for me. I do ask the youngest if he wants to help, but apparently playing on his xbox is more enjoyable!

We eventually get a request to pick the eldest up at 10.30pm, and Mrs P goes. I think she’s secretly hoping to see the eldest’s friends.

Yours looking for a strike.

Jay

Tuesday 13th August

A morning spent at the library, and not much demand for my help. I wonder if all the job seekers and retired folk are on their holidays, as they comprise 90% of my normal clientele. I complete the weekend papers crossword with the help of Google, and clear my email. As there is not much point - based on the number of requests for help I’m getting – in me being there I check the calendar, decide I’ll go in next Tuesday then that’ll be it until the kids go back to school. No point in volunteering if you’re not needed.

I meet the youngest at my mother’s for lunch. Sandwiches on white bread, with plenty of butter. Real comfort food for the soul. I also manage to get the Kobo eReader the folks have, working with the local library software, which means they can download books and take them on their holidays with them. The old folks really are grasping new technology with both hands, and it’s great to see.

The eldest returns early from a shopping trip, and the teenagers and me spend the afternoon playing Mario Party on the Wii. Great quality time spent together, helped by the fact the eldest won and I was last. It’s bin day tomorrow and so I cut the grass in the evening. Since you’ve needed to pay the local council to have a garden waste bin emptied, and we don’t. I’ve taken to timing my gardening, to fill the general waste bin as late as possible with garden rubbish, to avoid it smelling. It’s a plan of sorts.

Yours not unsuccessfully gaming.

Jay

Monday 12th August

Emailed photos of our toilet to the manufacturer this morning, to try to get them to identify the model we have, so we can get a replacement seat. We are currently without screws in ours, and the family Perry are all balancing precariously. What a way to start the week, on all fours taking pictures of a toilet bowl. The only way really is up from there.

I abandon the teenagers and Mrs P today, to go and umpire a cricket match in Liverpool. On arrival the weather looks a bit dodgy but it gives us no problem, and we get through the game without interruptions. If you believed the weather forecasts – which was for showers today - you would never leave the house some days. The quality of young players in action is very impressive, and it sure beats them being at home playing computer games. Nice setting, fresh air and a good competition.  Seems like Summer to me. The tea provided was a highlight, some can be mixed and others over the top but today’s was good. It is something of an art feeding around thirty people at what can be a variable time – depending when the first innings finishes - especially when hot food is provided. So for the chicken burgers, chips, varieties of ham and cheese sandwiches, pizza, sausage rolls, and most importantly a good cup of tea, I raise my cup to the caterers.

The evening passes in a blur of televised sport, a walk with the eldest and Mrs P, and repeats of old sitcoms. Playing happy families in other words.

Yours not out.

Jay

Friday 9th August

I start the day with some cleaning, but can’t progress to vacuuming because both the teenagers are still in bed, and so I make a cup of tea and catch up on some TV while I wait for them to get up.

In the afternoon the eldest and I go to Chester to take a walk around the city walls. On the way, we pick-up a new toilet seat,  (more of that later), and a bum bag for her. The online price for the bag was £7.99, plus £2.50 to ‘click and collect’. In shop it was priced at £12.99. When we queried this the assistant told us it should only be £4.99, but they hadn’t got around to relabeling it yet! So it meant a saving for the Perry family, which was good news.

Chester was busy with tourists. The variety of languages we heard as we walked around was very varied. I was also taken by the number of coffee shops there now are, and how busy they were. What recession I hear you ask. In addition Chester has a wonderful collection of old pubs tucked away down side streets, and it’s heartening to think that they can survive in these days of corporate takeovers of the high street.

When we get home I construct the new toilet seat, only to find it’s not the right one. Whilst the fittings are correct our bowl is raised at the back and I notice our seat curves up whereas the new one is flat, like all the others in the catalogue. I know I probably should have noticed before, after all I’ve been sitting on it for six years. So I’ll be taking it back tomorrow and trying to get hold of the manufacturer, to see if they can tell me what we have, and how I can get a replacement.

Did I mention the porch I repainted on Wednesday smells really funny, and not in a good way? I guess someone, somewhere, is trying to tell me that I’m just not very good at DIY.

Yours not very hands-on.

Jay

Thursday 8th August

Off to Bedford today to pick up the youngest, this means the M6 and Birmingham. There is no good time to do this journey traffic wise, and so I set off when I’m ready just before 9am, and cross my fingers. Miraculously this tactic works, as I have what must be the smoothest run in living memory and arrive in about 3 hours. The youngest is involved in a cricket match, and by the time I’ve identified him from the four matches going on its lunch time. I walk down the road to Wetherspoons and order the all-day-breakfast, plus a coffee. Now regular readers will know I usually pay 95p for coffee in Wetherspoons, but also recently found the same coffee priced at £1.15, in another Wetherspoons local to me. Well on Bedford High Street the same coffee is only 85p! Go figure, how the same coffee is more expensive further North. I wonder if it’s the transportation costs. It must be really cheap in Dover!

My lunch is interrupted by a screaming child at the table next to me. Not a young baby but a toddler with a dummy, who screamed when they didn’t get their way. Eventually a chap who was out for a lunchtime pint and a chat with his mate, got fed up, and he told the parents what the whole pub was thinking. We didn’t come out to listen to your screaming child. If they can’t behave, you really shouldn’t be subjecting everyone else to their tantrums.

After a pleasant afternoon sat in the sun watching cricket we get back in the car about 5pm, just in time for rush hour. Its funny tracking the traffic jams on the radio, the ones they warn you about are quite often over the worst by the time you hear about them, and normally you’re stuck in the really bad ones by the time they come on and warn you. There is something of an art, to working out exactly how bad a traffic jam is, based on the traffic news and your own experience. We get home in about 3 ½ hours having taken a different route, avoiding Birmingham, so I was pretty happy with that.

Mrs P is glad to have the four of us back under the same roof. At least for the next week anyway, until the eldest goes off to her music Festival.

Yours glad not to be driving on motorways for a living.

Jay

Wednesday 7th August

Leaving the eldest sleeping, with Mrs P having gone to work, I go out early to do the papers. It’s a warm morning, and I am surprised by how quiet the streets are. I get home and the eldest is out of bed, and in front of the TV, watching some American reality rubbish. Typical teenage girl. I decide I might have a go at painting the porch, and I decide to wash the walls first, not something I’ve done before, but it can’t do any harm.

I then need to go and find a new toilet seat. I bought one yesterday because the old one – as regular readers will know – is on its last legs. My final fixes have all failed, and there is nothing for it now, but to buy a new one. So that is what we did yesterday, only to find our toilet seat is not a standard fitting, and so today I take the new one back for a refund. I’m back to square one, when Mrs P has the bright idea to get hold of the guy who installed the bathroom (who we know), which I do. He advises us to go on the manufacturers’ website, and see if we can see one that looks like ours, let him have the model and he’ll get the seat for us. Alternatively, he’ll come and look. We take a look online and see one we both think is in the ballpark. I guess time will tell of it’s the right one, but fingers crossed as the current seat is now only held on by one wobbly screw!

I do get the porch painted, but as the walls are white pebble-dash it’s really is difficult to tell how good it looks. Once again time will tell, in this case the morning.

Yours waiting patiently.

Jay.

Tuesday 6th August

A quiet morning down at the library. It must be the holidays and all this good weather, that are keeping people outside. The eldest walks down to meet me, to get some fresh air, and we walk home together, taking a different route for a change. We are cutting through an alleyway when I spot a Barclays Debit card on the floor, and nobody around. Being a good citizen I pick it up and take it home to call the lost/stolen card number on the back, and report it to Barclays. As much as the on-hold voice continues to tell me that my call is important, after being kept on-hold for 18 minutes I hang-up. At this point I’m very glad I don’t use Barclays, if that’s the level of their service. Knowing if it was my card that had been found I would want it reported, and so I do the right thing, I try another route, and log on to the Barclays website and start a web chat with a service representative, who gives me a customer service number to ring. Obviously he is unable to help me himself, that would be too easy. So I ring the new number and get through to another customer service representative, who takes the card details and passes me through to the lost/stolen card department. At this point I’m back on-hold listening to music, but eventually I’m connected to the correct department, where I’m asked to provide all the details again, and then to cut the card up. This call takes another 12 minutes. If I add in logging on, and the web chat, it has taken me well over half an hour to report to Barclays that I found one of their debit cards! I was thanked; but I was also appalled by how difficult this process was.

Lost card   1  -   Barclays Customer Service   0

I do hope if ever I lose a bank card that whoever finds it does the right thing by me, and that my bank proves to be easier for them to deal with.

Yours feeling righteous but also very disappointed.

Jay

Monday 5th August

The youngest is away this week until Thursday and so Mrs P is still waiting for us to have a full house for the summer holidays. It’s strange waking up and him not being around, as he is usually an early riser.

I need to find a new tyre for Mrs P’s car this morning, and I’d been tipped off about a cheap place by a guy I was chatting to last week while I got her cars MOT done. So I set off for not the nicest part of town, to try to find it. There stuck to the side of a scrap merchants is the tyre shop. I drive in to an empty tyre bay, but soon enough a lad appears finds a cheap brand new Bridgestone tyre and fits it for me. Job done, and a good few quid saved. A worthwhile outing.

In the afternoon the eldest and I go over to Liverpool to register her at the main library. The new library had not been open that long and it was our first visit, and I have to say it is very nice. There is a beautiful, very traditional looking reading room, and some great new technology. You can check out your books by putting them all on the scanner in one big pile, insert your card, and it prints you out a list of your books, all with the due dates. Very clever. In addition there is a wider selection than I’m used to, which is an added bonus. We wander up by the University, and are amazed at the amount of Chinese/Japanese students that there are walking around. We couldn’t figure out if they were all here for summer courses, or if they were full time students who just didn’t go home for the summer?

An evening run out at football and a couple of texts from the youngest, which compare well with yesterdays solitary text from him, and a rather successful day is over.

Yours enjoying the summer.

Jay

Friday 2nd August

Funny how I’m not so keen to get going when cleaning lies ahead of me. Mrs P is out to work handy and the teenagers are not up yet. Still it has to be done and so I make a start. Cleaning and vacuuming quietly, in an attempt not to disturb the kids too much. It fails, they’re up. I’d been wondering what we could do together that didn’t cost money, as everything these days seems to be so expensive. All credit to the kids they suggest a session of Cluedo, and so mid-morning sees us at the kitchen table trying to work out who dunnit, where and with what. Having made lunch albeit a mixture of leftovers, we proceed to compete at Mario Kart. Fresh from being beaten recently by Mrs P, the eldest now beats me convincingly. It goes without saying that the youngest is way ahead of everyone. I really am rubbish at computer games.

As a finale we have an outing to the dentist. It costs me £18 every six months to hopefully be told that my teeth are ok, and a bit like this week’s MOT, you just hope to get the green light. Every time the dentist stops and scrapes at a bit I can’t help wondering how much this is going to cost me. Fortunately today, everything is good for us all. The kids always are though, I’m usually the problem if there is one, and to be fair to the youngest, his teeth cleaning has radically improved, the eldest’s has always been good. I’m not sure if that’s not just typical boys and girls.

Yours in the Ballroom with the Candlestick.

Jay

Thursday 1st August

I’m still tidying up today after the eldest’s trip. The problem I have is she needed certain new gear for the trip, both camping and clothing. This assorted gear now needs to be found a home, and most of our wardrobes are filled. An example being the wardrobe Mrs P and I have in our bedroom. We started with half each, but now I have inherited all the junk on my side, and Mrs P has inherited some of my space. I think it’s a girl thing - never anything to wear, but a wardrobe full of clothes. I eventually manage to secrete most stuff on an upper shelf in the eldest’s wardrobe, and until she needs the space for more clothes I should alright.

The youngest goes out to play football with his mates this afternoon, which is how summer holidays should be. Jumpers for goal posts, long hot sunny days and home for tea. As the eldest is out I do the ironing in front of the TV, with a choice of Ashes cricket, Ladies British Open golf, and racing from Goodwood to watch. It’s a hard life but someone has to do it.

Yours enjoying the view.

Jay

Wednesday 31st Jul

Well it’s raining pretty consistently this morning, and so I gird up my loins, and out I go with the papers. Not surprisingly given the school holidays and the rain, the streets are quiet. I actually like walking in the rain; it might well make my list of, in the words of Julie Andrews, “A few of my favourite things.”

On my return home I am faced with the eldest’s rucksack from Morocco, and spend the rest of the day at intervals removing, washing and cleaning most things. The joys of being a house husband. On occasion to distract myself I play Mario Kart on the Wii with the youngest. Along with Mrs P the three of us have played quite a bit over the last couple of weeks, and far from improving, I’m possibly getting worse at the game. Certainly Mrs P has quite quickly proved a better driver than me. I’ve never been any good at computer games as far back as Space Invaders and Pacman; it’s probably why I’ve never been very interested in them.

I manage to get the ironing done before Mrs P gets home, and then we go out to eat. It was Mrs P’s birthday at the weekend, and now the eldest is back we can go out to dine en famille. It’s funny how things change, but in days gone by we would just have gone where we liked. Now the decision is influenced by which discount vouchers are available to give us the best deal. In this case it’s the Beefeater, and very nice it is too. Decent steaks, burgers and chickens all round. It really is impressive how much a teenage boy can eat. As a footnote the teenagers spoke to us before, during and after dinner, instead of immersing themselves in phones and ipods, for which Mrs P and I were very grateful. It was almost like eating with grown ups.

Yours looking out for the sun.

Jay.

Tuesday 30th Jul

I go on a course this morning through my IT volunteer role at the library. Its entitled “Violence and Aggression training”. Not how to be, but how to deal with, given we are dealing with the public. As I can’t be recompensed for mileage, but I can for train travel, I take the local train. It’s not as quick, but looking at my fellow travellers it makes me see why I’m in no rush to be a commuter. Lord they look miserable, and their work days haven’t even started.

The course itself is fairly typical and I only pick up a couple of useful pieces of information, but seeing my fellow attendees makes me realise what a great job some people do in very difficult circumstances, and for relatively little pay. It also confirms how poorly organised and run local councils still are, with a lot of the management still living, heads in the sand, in the dark ages.

I grab a coffee from Wetherspoons on the way back to get the train. I’d paid 95p for coffee in a local Wetherspoons on Saturday, and here I was being charged £1.15, a 20% price increase, for the same drink 10 miles down the road. The interesting point is the area I was now in, would be considered by some – and reflected by housing prices – to be much better that where I’d been at the weekend. Obviously Wetherspoons, and I am sure other chains, price according to the local income.

11pm sees Mrs P, myself and other parents waiting outside school, for the coach bringing our daughters back from Morocco, or Heathrow in this case. Looking at the coach I don’t immediately recognise the eldest, as all the girls look very similar after two weeks roughing it. She has had a great time, and has plenty of stories and photos to share with us. First though its home to bed, and to see her brother, who typically for a teenage boy preferred to wait at home.

Yours glad to have the eldest back home safe.

Jay

Monday 29th Jul

Back to it this morning and Mrs P’s car needs its MOT. So first thing finds me sitting in a cold portakabin, waiting on Kwik-Fit. It’s a bit like waiting for exam results or news from the doctor. You’re just praying its good news. In this case they have a new guy doing the test, and surprise surprise he fails the car. On windscreen wipers not cleaning the window properly, and a tear in the sidewall of one of the tyres. The quote to fix the repairs is probably only £10 more than if I went and sourced the bits myself, got them done, and then brought it back for a retest, and so I just tell them to go ahead. To be fair the guys get the work done quickly for me, for which I am grateful, and then and we move on, me in this case to meet Mrs P in the supermarket. I always feel with MOT’s that the garage is looking to fail you so they can charge you for the extra work required. Maybe I’m just being cynical, but it really does depend on the individual involved, and whether they’re on your side. Suffice to say they lure you in with a £30 MOT price, and you end up spending £110. But what can you do, they have you over the proverbial barrel.

The eldest is due back from Morocco tomorrow and Mrs P is counting down the hours, she just wants her home safe. Me, I’m sure she’s having a great time and so am happy for her. It’s one of the differences between men and women.

Yours paying the price for motoring.

Jay