The pain game ... Wednesday 27th - Friday 29th Nov

Well I’m still doing the exercises the physio gave me for my shoulder; more or less every couple of hours. Is it getting better? Probably though it doesn’t always feel it. I am now getting to the point where while not quite stir-crazy, I do feel the need to get out occasionally, and not just to another doctor’s appointment. So it is I find myself wrapping up warm on Thursday afternoon and going for a walk. Now normally I walk fairly briskly, but today with my arm still in a sling and wanting to prolong my time outdoors I walk decidedly slowly. I manage an hour’s walking, during which I enjoy crunching through autumns leaves on the ground, and the sight of the now mostly bare trees. It still amazes me how many people walk around with their heads down never looking up to see what’s above. Be it architecture in cities or nature in the countryside. Is this a metaphor for modern living? Sorry for asking, I really must get out more.

I visit the nurse again who is due to take my stitches out, if they haven’t dissolved. This is not as uncomfortable as I expect, but just as I’m about to escape she says I’m entitled to a flu jab, plus a one-off jab to cover pneumonia, septicaemia and one strain of meningitis (at least I think that’s right). On asking if I would need to make an appointment, because to be honest I probably wouldn’t have bothered, she said no she could do them, there and then. So thinking in for a penny. in for a pound, I said fair enough, let’s do it. So that was two jabs, one in each arm. Two minutes and later I’m walking out fully immunised. Slight side effect however, in that my good arm now hurts. So from having one good arm and one recovering, I now have two recovering. Oh well back to the exercises, surely it can’t hurt much more?

Yours taking one step forward and two steps back.

Jay

The pain game ... Monday 25th - Tuesday 26th Nov

Everyone I spoke to told me that physio on Tuesday was going to be painful, and so I was mentally girding up my loins for this. What no-one mentioned was the pain of Christmas shopping I was going to experience on Monday with Mrs P.

Mid-morning Monday found Mrs P and me arriving at the local shopping outlet village, Mrs P doing the driving duties due to my incapacitation. For some reason I was under the impression that what we were told on the nightly BBC news was true, and we were still in the middle of a recession, which was hitting pensioners especially hard. Well all I can say is someone forgot to tell my fellow shoppers. It was heaving, people everywhere and this on a Monday. Even Mrs P was moved to say that “I didn’t expect this many people to be off work today.” A credit crunch there maybe, but it was difficult to see from the queues in M&S. As my mending shoulder was jostled for the umpteenth time, by a grey/blue rinsed head, and as Mrs P abandoned me once again outside the fitting rooms, I wondered who truly are the golden generation. It also reaffirmed why I’m not a great shopping companion for Mrs P, she does deserve better.

In contrast physio on Tuesday was a walk in the park. Whilst I might have entertained ideas, of a pretty young physio gently manipulating my shoulder. What I got instead was a strapping shaven headed chap, and the opportunity to walk down a cold room with my shirt off. So it was, that I was sent on my way with a list of exercises to do, and my arm slightly sorer than it had been before. One man’s pain is truly another man’s gain.

Yours shopping online.

Jay

Patience ... Friday 22nd Nov

I ordered a new mobile phone for the youngest yesterday, and so I find myself waiting in for the delivery today. Mid-morning I get a text from the delivery company DPD, telling me it would be delivered between 1:20pm-2:20pm, and sure enough the delivery arrives at 1:20pm, great service. How I wish all my experiences with companies were so positive. Take note corporate Great Britain.

In the afternoon I go to get the dressing on my shoulder changed. Once again there is no mirror in the nurses room, and so I have still not really seen the scar from my operation yet. The good news is I’m told that I’m healing well, and I’m doing the exercises the physio gave me, though they do hurt. I’m told the real pain comes when you start the proper physiotherapy, which is next week for me. So that’s something to look forward to (not).

Well that’s the first week since I had the shoulder put back together over, and it has gone reasonably well. I know these things take time but I can’t help wishing there was some shortcut. I guess it’s just a case of being patient, but that thought just reminds of the old joke, where two vultures are sat on a branch together, and one turns to the other and says, “Sod patience I just wanna kill something!”

Yours practising patience.

Jay

Tea parties and new glasses ... Wednesday 20th- Thursday 21st Nov

It felt a little bit surreal today, when, after I’d spent the morning reading and watching recordings on TV, the outlaws kindly appeared after lunch, to collect and deliver half of the paper round. Mrs P and the eldest do the other half of an evening at the moment.

The outlaws left their laptop with me to clean it up. It was running slowly and assorted applications appeared to have been downloaded. I’d just got it sorted when the old man called round for a chat. So we were sat having a cuppa when the outlaws came back. I invited them in to join us and found myself hosting a tea party, for OAP’s. My very own, ‘Alice in Wonderland’ moment. I have to say they have all been very helpful and I am at the moment reaping the benefit of having our nearest and dearest close by, while my shoulder repairs, and I am sans car.

Without resorting to daytime TV, there is only so much you can watch, which means I’m reading quite a lot. This has highlighted the fact that my sight is getting worse, at least when it comes to reading. So this morning I walked to the opticians for an eye test. I have to say it was nice just to be out in the fresh air. The optician is a chap I know and as he put it to me, I’m just now at that age where I need reading glasses. So it was I exited with a cheap (£5.50) pair of off-the-shelf ‘ready readers.’ The effect was miraculous for me. From having to hold my book at arm’s length in good light to make out the words, I could hold it half way and see crisp, sharp lettering. Even the teenagers were good enough not to laugh too much. Feeling confident with my new eyewear I placed them on top of my head and promptly broke off an arm when I removed them!

So I now sit head tilted, with wonky spectacles held together with a sticking plaster. But at least I can see to read, so I’m very happy about that, and Mrs P has promised to take me to get a more suitable pair.

Yours seeing the light, and the words.

Jay

Scarred ... Tuesday 19th Nov

The highlight of today was getting my dressing changed. If that can be classed as a highlight. It meant I got chauffeured to my GP’s, where the nurse showed me the scar, and I have to say it is pretty impressive. Stretching from my shoulder, across to my neck and down. Makes me realise it really was best not to ask too many questions about the operation in advance. For me in this case, ignorance truly was bliss.

I also popped into the library whilst I was out to say hello, and let them know that I wouldn’t be in to offer IT support for a while. I must say this left-handed typing is proving difficult for me, though I am using two fingers now.

Yours slowly adjusting to life as a lefty.

Jay

Starting to convalesce ... Monday 18th Nov

Well now the convalescing begins. I went under the knife on Friday afternoon and came out of hospital on the Saturday. I was first on the list for operating, which meant mine was probably the worst one they had to do on the day. To be honest I didn’t ask too many questions, about it. I trusted the consultant/surgeon and let him get on with his job, and it does feel a lot better already.

So back to the convalescing. What exactly am I going to do? After all you can only watch so much TV, and read so many books. For a start I’m going to have to learn to do things left handed. Typically I broke my good side. So I’m typing this left-handed, albeit slowly, and have operated the coffee machine likewise. Small steps but it was ever thus. On the bright side I’m saving on petrol as I’m unlikely to be driving this side of Christmas, and I’ll get out of present wrapping duty, which is actually a shame as it is the one positive contribution I make to helping Mrs P at Christmas.

I get my dressing changed tomorrow and will get to see what size scar I’ve got. A badge of honour as I see it, a ”You’re too old to be doing stupid things like that anymore” mark, from where Mrs P is looking.

Yours thinking left-field.

Jay

Nervous of hospitals, what me! ... 11th-14th Nov

I have to say that breaking my collarbone really has curtailed my house-husbandry. In fact it has stopped it dead in its tracks. It has also stretched Mrs P's patience. However yesterday I visited the local hospital to see the shoulder consultant. Having arrived at the hospital at 9am, I left at 1pm. I spent most of this time sitting around waiting. However when I did see the consultant, he took a quick look at me and my x-rays and said, "I'll operate on Friday." You have to like a man who makes a decision.

With any luck this will speed the healing process and get me back to house husband duties sooner rather than later. I'm almost starting to miss them! Wish me luck, 24 hours and counting until I go under the knife.

Yours slightly apprehensive,

Jay

Ow that really hurt ... Monday 4th - Friday 8th November

It's been an interesting week, but not one I'm keen to repeat. On Monday playing football I fell on my shoulder, the result of which was multiple fractures of my collarbone. So the week has passed with my arm in a sling, taking pain-killers. Someone asked me if the pain-killers were working, to which my response was that I wasn't planning to try without them, just so I could check how much pain I was in! Suffice to say, Mrs P is calling time on my football career.
 
As ever with these things, I broke the bones on my preferred side. For me my right hand side. This means I either have to learn to do things with my left hand (such as typing!) or do nothing. Mrs P is being very supportive, though this has happened at a very inopportune time, as I have a number of things on. Some of which, Mrs P is having to pick up. The teenagers are helping out, though I suspect they may tire of me being of so little use, quite quickly.

My week has been filled with lying in bed reading, or sitting in front of the TV. There's not that much else that I can do. Certainly I can't manage my standard household chores. So in my role as a househusband, I'm currently failing.

I go back to the hospital soon when I hope to get a decent prognosis, and have an idea when the househusband might be back up to speed.

Yours slightly broken.

Jay

Wet windows and cutting it fine ... Friday 1st Nov

At this time of year a new domestic chore is added to my list. For some reason, and despite having double glazing, when the temperature goes cold at night outside, we awake to moisture on the insides of the windows. Now this moisture can be anything from light fogging, to dripping wet windows with puddles of water dripping off the window ledge. To try to deal better with this, I purchased a reasonably absorbent cloth this week to mop off, and up, the moisture. I also use the rubber side of a squeegee to wipe away any remnants. Then it’s open the windows to get some fresh air in and we’re sorted. I’m not sure if sleeping with the windows open would help, but Mrs P doesn’t seem keen to try it.

To be honest by the time I’ve finished cleaning up this morning, I decide to take a cup of tea and the paper and go back to bed. Well Mrs P is at work and the teenagers are both at school, and there has to be some benefits to being a house husband.

I have one job to do today that Mrs P has left me, and that is to defrost the freezer. I have all day to do it, and I forget! Well I forget until about 4:30pm anyway, with Mrs P due home about 5:15pm today. Rather than panic I empty the freezer, put what I can into the fridge and its small freezer unit, and then put a bowl of boiling water (my idea of a short cut) into the freezer, and start furiously scrapping at ice. Miraculously I manage to get all the ice off, with the help of a couple of more bowls of boiling water, before Mrs P gets home. As well as getting tea on the table for everyone, so some serious multi-tasking going on. I think I just about got away with it, though when Mrs P reads this I might be in trouble.

Yours cutting it close.

Jay

Not a fan of Halloween .. Thursday 31st Oct

The library is quiet this morning, which is fortunate as a number of the computers are not working, and the councils central IT function show no sign of fixing them. I remember to pop out and pick up the eldest’s shoes from the cobbler’s. I just hope they last for the rest of the school year.

Once home it’s on with the housework. Cleaning, dusting and then ironing. A solid bit of housework completed today. I even find time to put the hook back onto the eldest’s bedroom door. She usually hangs her dressing gown on it, and it has over the years fallen off more than once. I’m just hoping my latest attempt at repairing it is successful, though given my DIY track record it seems unlikely.

Mrs P and I go out for a walk in the evening, and being Halloween the local side roads are swarming with children dressed up to extort sweets from householders. You may have guessed from that statement that I’m not a huge fan of Halloween. I remember the gentle days of duck-apple, and not having eggs thrown at your house for not being at home to avaricious children. I do rather see the over commercialisation of Halloween being American influenced and driven by greedy retailers. Bah humbug.

Joe-le-taxi is back on duty tonight, collecting the eldest from dance, and then later on the youngest from cricket. To be fair Mrs P took them both, I just got the late slots. How pleasant it was, to once again be sat waiting in the dark for the teenagers to be ready to be collected!

Yours not a fan of Halloween.

Jay