Thursday 28th Feb

The last day of the month and only three and a half weeks until the kids break up for Easter; which means only four and a half weeks of self-imposed chocolate exile to go. To be fair I’ve stopped looking in the chocolate cupboard when I want a snack and go instead for where the cakes are kept. As a result of this I don’t expect to lose any weight by avoiding chocolate for Lent, and might even put some on. Maybe not the best strategy now I come to think of it, though I am just doing it to keep Mrs P company. She, I have to say, is doing much better than me.

This afternoon I’m at a local school where I help out with exam invigilating, which is always a pleasure. Plenty of good thinking time as you are not allowed to take anything in with you. The kids were as always really well behaved; though when more than half have finished half way through the time, you do still wonder, as a parent, if the quality of exams is where it needs to be yet. Did have one moment today, when one kid after 10 minutes realised they were writing in blue, when every exam these days requires you to write in black. You’d have thought that wasn’t too difficult but hey ho. They finished in black and went over the early stuff in black as well, so no harm done, and hopefully they won’t make that mistake again!

Jay le taxi was out again this evening, though fortunately not for too long.

Yours in reflective mood

Jay

Wednesday 27th Feb

Fog watching is really catching on in the Perry household, and I feel I must take the major part of the blame for inflicting this on the family, though it is primarily a pre-breakfast sport. That is to say you stick your head out of the curtains, and there it is, or not, as the case may be. It could be mist of course, but having looked at Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fog I’m none the wiser, and anyway mist watching is not such a great sounding sport.

Hospital appointment in the afternoon for a regulation check-up. Saw the new consultant who was only running 35 minutes late. It’s a funny sensation sitting waiting to be called and trying to work out who is in front of you in the queue. The lady in front of me was in for about 25 minutes, I was in and out in 5. Strange thing is I felt aggrieved that I got less time, even though I know I should have been happy as it means all is well with me. Peculiar things people where health is concerned. The appointments clerk then looks me in the eye and says 3pm, some date in February 2014 for my next appointment, expecting me to know if I’m double booked on a date over a year hence!

Mrs P was planning to go to Zumba this evening, but I had an event to attend at school, and I said I’d be back to take her for 7:15pm. Well as you know, you sometimes get talking to people, and time flies, and before you know it ... there you are driving home and it’s 7.45pm! By the time I got home for a large slice of humble pie, Mrs P was ensconced over a cup of tea and a biscuit, and it’s my fault her fitness regime has had a setback. Apparently, this counts as me standing her up, to much hilarity from the teenagers.

Yours in the doghouse

Jay

Tuesday 26th Feb

Bright start to the day and not too sore after last night’s football, which was a pleasant surprise. Just as the youngest was about to go out of the door to school, he asked if we’d signed the form he’d brought home the previous evening, giving consent for him to go to a school sports tournament this weekend, for which he’ll be away two nights and we had been given no advance notice of by him. The letter asked for replies and cheques by the end of the week I told him, though granted this did seem short notice for the school. He then tells me he needs it back in today! Why couldn’t he have told us this when he brought the note home yesterday I asked? As I sought out a chequebook, as everything costs these days. I put it down to the teenagers’ believe that if they use telepathy you will understand, and that they can’t be expected to actually tell you what is going on.

Likewise the eldest is on a run of rehearsals for a school show at the moment, but rather than put the details on the calendar, we have to interrogate her over breakfast as to when she’ll be home from school, if a lift is required, and anything else that might be happening, school, social or otherwise.

Popped out in the evening to pick up a wallpaper steamer from a mate, and managed to get lost, in the dark in a less than salubrious part of town. My fault as I was driving on automatic pilot, and when I realised I was going the wrong way, instead of turning back and going the way I knew, I tried to cut across in the general direction. I got there eventually, though I suspect if I’d had a sat-nav (women’s voice instructing me), or Mrs P with me I might not have done the bloke thing of thinking I knew best and guessing. Wrongly as it turned out.

Yours really not telepathic

Jay

Monday 25th Feb

After much prevaricating on my part, at least that’s how Mrs P sees it. I personally like to call it strategic planning. I have finally got to the point when I’m going to re-decorate the lounge. Problem is we have a fallen floor in the corner that needs levelling, rotted skirting boards to replace, bricks in the wall to be removed to fit an air brick, plus painting and wallpapering. Still you have to start somewhere so I’ve had to agree Friday for wallpaper stripping. It’s always nice to have something to look forward to.

The eldest had to go into school for an extra rehearsal for a show she’s part of, and in a moment of weakness I agreed that she could drive. First time on the roads proper, with me, during the daytime. She told me her instructor said she was alright turning left, which was mostly what we had to do. Unfortunately the last turn was a right turn. Did she slow down enough, no, did she change down in time, no, did she get round the corner, yes she did. Was I shaking, well only slightly!

As I am not a fan of exercise, though I am happy to walk, I felt I should make an effort to do something, and so went back to 5-a-side football last night. It’s something I’ve done for the last couple of years, but not since before Christmas. Well it was a mighty cold night, and nearer 11-a-side than 5, but on a big pitch, allowing plenty of room. Good to see familiar faces I only ever see at football, and entertaining to see the guys who turn up every week and moan about the same things are still there. Why when it’s meant to be for fun do people constantly complain, and yet still continue to turn up? Is it just in their DNA? It’ll be interesting to see how much I ache tomorrow morning.

Yours slightly shaken

Jay

Friday 22nd Feb

Best of British start to the day, as Mrs P did a fry up. Not many better ways to start the day to my mind, and with a decent cup of tea the taxi service was ready to roll. Morning call was to take the youngest to rugby training and collect him, covered in mud later on. And guess who gets to clean his boots, outside in the freezing cold!

Regular readers will not be surprised to know that my recently replaced digital TV box is playing up. Similar problems to before which makes me think it may be software issues with the service providers downloads, looks like we’re just going to have to live with it for a while until they fix it. It’s not as though we’re paying for a working service!

Popped out in the afternoon and down by the river I saw a number of padlocks had been secured onto a chain fence, with people’s names written on, or carved into, them. I first saw this phenomenon when the eldest came back from a school trip to Austria last summer, and she had pictures taken on a bridge covered with locks. As I understand it you write your girl/boyfriends name on the lock with yours, secure it to a fence/bridge and throw the key into the water, declaring your eternal love. OK I made the last four words up, but you have to admit it’s more romantic than texting and social media. It feels more traditional.

Jay-le-taxi is out again in the evening, junior to cricket, eldest to the cinema, back in then quickly out to collect junior, followed by an 11:30pm pick up at the cinema, Mrs P being sensibly tucked up in bed by this time. I wouldn’t mind but the eldest had already seen the film once.

Yours locked in

Jay

Thursday 21st Feb

Family day today or so it seemed. First off a trip to the dentist, the challenge here was being to wake the eldest for a 10am appointment that only takes five minutes to get to. I wake her on her instructions fifteen minutes before we need to be there, which apparently was plenty of time; at least it would have been if she didn’t need to do whatever it is teenage girls do in front of the bedroom mirror before they can face the world. Boys pick up the closest clothing to hand and are good to go, for girls it seems it is more complicated.

Dropped in on the folks on the way back for a cup of tea, and a glance at what passes for entertainment on daytime TV. As long as you like arguments, doing up houses or antiques there’s something for you to watch on daytime TV.

Invited along to the outlaws for lunch, with Mrs P’s sister and her three teenage girls. Good food and homemade cake, what could be nicer. I got an insight into the world of prom dresses, which to me as an outsider seem hugely expensive for one night out. I can’t help thinking that’s what ebay is for. I think Proms are another example of Americanisation we could really do without, much like their take on Halloween with trick-or-treating.

Took an early dart to walk home and try to repair/improve our home PC which is running slowly at the moment. I manage to fix one problem but can’t seem to find the underlying one. A bit like being a doctor it seems a matter of eliminating one thing at a time. Typically at the moment the PC seems to save its’ worst performances for when Mrs P needs it, but I’ll soldier on and hopefully get there. Finish the day acting as jay-le-taxi for the eldest, sitting at home like many parents waiting for a text to say I can come and collect her. This time it came at 10:30pm, so not so bad really.

Yours not invited to the Prom

Jay

Wednesday 20th Feb

Didn't we have a lovely time the day we went to Bangor ... (Fiddlers Dram’s c1979); well yes the Perry family did have that very experience today. This was an achievement in more ways than one, not only did we, after much negotiation and planning, get both teenagers to accompany us, but also the sun shone brightly.

Family days out with teenage children are in some ways to be more treasured than earlier ones, firstly for their rarity value, and secondly because you know there won’t be many more. On the way we even managed a spot of fog watching as we drove along the North Wales coast –you see it really is catching on.

One of the things you’ve got to love about welsh parking is how cheap it is. £2.50 for the day in the middle of the city, take that London! Yes Bangor has a lovely cathedral and so qualifies as a city. We wandered around the University where I embarrassed the kids by entering the student cafe/bar and wandering around, it is one of the few dad super powers I retain, that of embarrassment, and I do like to inflict in on the teenagers when I can, the more public the place, the better. We even had time for a walk down the pier, once again, who knew, but there it is stretching out into the Menai Straits. With a lovely lunch thrown in, the Perry family - much like Fiddlers Dram - would recommend Bangor for a day out.

On the way home we even collected the replacement light fitting the youngest and I broke last month (see Monday 4^th Feb), so a successful day out and one for the memory bank.

Yours already reminiscing

Jay

Tuesday 19th Feb

Got thrown out of the house this morning, by a combination of the kids wanting to do homework, and Mrs P wanting me out from under her feet, so I trotted down to the library as usual on a Tuesday. Cold start to today and there was mist or it could have been fog as I walked along. I’ve never quite figured out what the difference is between the two, after all they both look the same, and to be honest neither of them look very interesting. I really can’t see fog gazing catching on as a sport or even a rather dull hobby.

Avoiding chocolate for Lent is becoming easier as I am no longer automatically looking into the cupboard where the chocolate resides when I fancy a snack. Though I do seem to be eating rather a lot of cakes and pastries as a result, and I’m not sure substitution is what should be behind Lent. Maybe I should have thought it through before I started.

In an effort to improve our fitness levels, which frankly need a lot of work, Mrs P and I agreed to try running up and down the stairs ten times each in the fastest possible time. The pain of the lactic acid build up in a very short time was somewhat unexpected. To keep up my end I just managed to beat Mrs P, but the real test will come as we see how we improve. Upon hearing the noise we were making the teenagers appeared wanting to join in, and needless to say they both comfortably beat us, with junior running out a clear winner. Seems a cheap way to try to do some good, and at least it might offset some of the cakes I’m tucking away.

Yours fog watching (it’s catching on already!)

Jay

Monday 18th Feb

Well half term has arrived and very welcome it is in the Perry household. Mrs P is off for the week as well which gives us a full contingent at home. The taxi service is in full flow today, first off is Perry junior who I drop off at rugby practice. Perfect weather for getting seriously muddy. Back home and the eldest has woken up and phoned the house from her mobile in bed, hoping to order a cup of tea. Fortunately Mrs P was out the back, so that plan went nowhere.

We’ve invited our neighbours in for a cup of tea mid-morning, and very civilised it is too. Tea and homemade Lemon Drizzle cake (courtesy of Mrs P). Always nice to catch up on any local news, and find out why there was an ambulance in the street on Saturday night! Back to collect junior and he does look as though he’s been impersonating a mud bathing hippo, and having a great time doing it. Back home muddy gear off and straight in the shower, and there’s some more washing to do.

After lunch the eldest needs running to a friends house, then after a few errands it’s back home for a cuppa and a read. I order some umpiring gear for both me and junior, which makes a dint in the savings, but it needs doing. Let's hope we both enjoy doing it. Then we look at car insurance using various comparison websites, it can be tricky to get like for like comparisons if you don’t look carefully, even using these sites. Find a cheaper price by about 20% for Mrs P’s renewal, but when we ring her existing provider they are not interested in matching it. Quite surprising this as Mrs P hasn’t had a claim in a long time, but I’m sure they know their business better than I do. Off out again to collect the eldest, then we’re it’s on to Mrs P’s sisters for tea.

Sat round the table after tea and the 5 teenagers are all glued to their mobile devices, though some are playing the same game, which makes it almost a social activity! I then watch as they decamp on mass to watch the TV, though all of them do so whilst continuing to use their mobiles. It must be a generational thing but I can only do one thing at a time, read or watch the TV, not both together.

Funny you’d have thought the holidays would be just that, but for your regular house husband it just makes life busier.

Yours

Jay-le-taxi

Friday 15th Feb

I’ve got to wait in this morning as an engineer is due to call between 8am-1pm, to look at my Digital TV box. The company couldn’t be more precise on the time; I suspect they might see it as giving some commitment the customer if they were. As you will know I’ve been having something of a catalogue of issues/problems/complaints with my service and have spent many happy minutes talking to India about it. Now two weeks since it was booked the day has dawned, the engineer ids due, and I have a five hour window I need to stay in for. Honestly how do working people manage? I got a reminder text yesterday telling me that the appointment was due, and containing an implicit threat that if it the service problem was my fault I might be charged. I couldn’t help thinking that this sort of message might scare and worry the frail and needy in our society, making them cancel appointments for fear of being charged, and having them living with a sub-standard service. Unfortunately this is just indicative of how large corporate companies seem to treat their customers today. Desperate to get your business, then happy to provide a poor service when they’ve got you. If it works it’s great, if it doesn’t - the very best of luck to you. In my case the engineer arrived mid-morning, listened to what I had to say and changed the box, while asking why they hadn’t just sent me a replacement out? My question exactly. I can only guess that option wasn’t open to our call centre friends in the sub-continent.

I took the eldest out to practice her driving in the evening. We found an empty-ish supermarket car park to practice driving figures-of-eight in. She has a habit of spinning the wheel and not feeding it. As the shops around us closed I was amazed by the number of young people who walked straight in front of us whilst texting, or calling on their mobiles, oblivious to the danger. My nerves were also being slightly strained by how close we always appeared to be getting, to one particular lamp post in the middle of the car park. Though I was assured, by the eldest, that she had plenty of room, cold comfort though that was. We then nipped just down the road, where there is a quiet stretch where she drove up and down. After about five minutes a fox appeared at the side of the road, a site that is not unusual in this area, any time when you’re out after 10:30pm. Amazingly the eldest hadn’t seen one before which I found quite surprising. Either we’re getting her to bed early, or she goes around with her eyes closed, and thinking about the youngsters walking in front of the car earlier I suspect it may be the latter.

Yours paying attention

Jay

Thursday 14th Feb

Doesn’t it make you feel so much better when the sun is on your back? I enjoyed a brisk walk this morning to and from the library, where I helped a number of people with their computer queries. Had one chap in needing to print off a document to fax it on. Strange to think that this seemed old fashioned. Twenty years ago telex was being phased out, and fax was coming in, and now faxes seem like something from the last century (which indeed they are), and email and scanning is the way forward.

Got on with the ironing after lunch, ironing being something I’ve become competent at since becoming a house husband. It might be just me, but I always start with the quick and easy stuff, moving on to the more difficult, which usually means tops, later. The exception being Mrs P’s selection of blouses and jumpers for work. Why can’t women wear simple shirts the same as men, which are easy to iron. Perry juniors’ school shirts are easy. Women’s’ blouses always seem to have ruffles and tucks, or something to make them awkward, and I’ve recently noticed the odd awkward garment appearing in the eldest’s wardrobe. The compromise we’ve reached is Mrs P does her own tops. To be honest, I’m not sure she thinks they’re done properly if she hasn’t done them.

In the evening I’m off out and despite it being Valentine’s Day it’s not with Mrs P. Who said romance is dead? During the winter Perry Junior and I attended and passed an ECB cricket umpires course. The youngest as part of his Duke Of Edinburgh award, and me to keep him company, and because by the time I’d dropped him off and come back home, I’d have had no time to do anything before going back to collect him. So last night I attended my first meeting of the local umpires association, and very welcoming they were, though I must say I lowered the average age in the room by about 20 years! It was the AGM and having sat through various clubs AGM’s and committee meetings over the years, it was nice to see that the stereotypes you get at clubs all over the country were represented. The season starts mid-April which is fast approaching, and it’s quite daunting to think in two months I could be umpiring 1^st Xl league cricket.

Yours reading the rule book

Jay

Wednesday 13th Feb

Out to do the papers bright and early passing kids going to school, and it’s snowing. Flurries blowing down the streets and into the bag. Funnily enough it’s not that cold once I get going. It was much colder last week with the wind blowing on a clear day. I wasn’t expecting the snow first thing, having watched both the local and national weather forecasts last night. Strange how they never quite match up, and still leave you guessing as to which one to believe. I suppose the best advice is still to look out of the window in the morning, and that’s the weather.

Met a mate after who is gutting a house he’s bought. It’s quite strange going into a house with rubble all over the floors, ceilings removed, and plaster off the walls. It makes the house seem somehow smaller than it would if there was carpets, furniture, a kitchen! You realise how little there is to the framework, once you peel the decoration away. Though I suppose that could be a metaphor for lots of things in life.

We popped down to Mac’s for a coffee, and were rewarded with a view of two battleships getting fitted out in the local shipyard. I’d guess it might be the only Mac’s in the country with such a view.

The first day of Lent without chocolate has gone okay for me and Mrs P. Just a question of working out what snacks are now in play, though in truth I should have paid a bit more attention to what we bought in the supermarket on Monday. To be honest Mrs P seems more focused than me, and glad to be getting on with it, which is surprising as I’m only doing it to support her. Looks like my generosity is going to be my downfall again.

Yours regretfully

Jay

Tuesday 12th Feb

Pancakes very much the focus of the day in the Perry household. If I remember rightly the idea is to use up all your left over bits before Lent, hence any flavouring of pancake goes. Today flavouring wise we’re fairly conservative, until Mrs P, under teenage instruction to provide a chocolate option, melts a Mars bar. Good idea in practice, the execution though leaves a little to be desired, as it quickly after melting turns into a solid lump of chocolate flavour. Needless to say the kids eat it anyway, and both attack the empty bowl for the last scrapes.

Chocolate is a theme today as well. Mrs P and I are giving up chocolate for Lent. Six whole weeks without chocolate, as we don’t subscribe to the theory you can have days off during Lent, it’s all or nothing. In principle it shouldn’t be too hard, the only problem is I do like chocolate and eat an awful lot of it. From bars to biscuits, cakes and muffins. The more I think about it the more I realise that finding appropriate substitutes will be a challenge. So in an effort to get through as much chocolate as possible today, I finish a packet of biscuits, a large muffin and a bag of chocolate raisins. This leaves me feeling slightly overloaded, and not really fancying any more chocolate. Tactically this turns out to be a good move, as now giving up chocolate doesn’t seem such a bad idea.

Back to the pancakes and the tossing competition was at its usual standard, one on the floor (me), one wrapped around frying pan handle (eldest), and one on the hob (Mrs P), making the winner by default Perry junior. Not even sure he tossed one, though he certainly ate the most. I think some practice tossing would be a good idea, the funny thing being, despite the fact that we all like pancakes we only eat them once a year, and I suspect we’re not alone in that!

Yours with chocolate withdrawal symptoms already

Jay

Monday 11th Feb

Just to let you know the driving trauma (well for me at least) continued this weekend, as I sat in the car whilst my eldest with L plates attached drove me around, albeit in a supposedly safe environment. The key moment was when the car was headed straight at a cemented in litter bin and I leant across to steer car away from it, whilst the teenager fought me it seemed, to aim straight at the bin. By judicious use of the handbrake we managed to avoid the bin, but the manoeuvre certainly did wonders for my adrenaline levels and the volume of my voice. Too many more incidents like that and Mrs P will have to take over Learner Driver duties.

I started the day with a shave. Nothing unusual in that you would think, except that as an economising measure, I’ve recently moved to using a single blade razor. I bought a hundred blades for £8 off the internet, a handle for £5, and a soapstick and brush for another £5. So in theory I have a year’s shaving for under £20, and I’m living in the 1950’s. It seems a great idea in principle when compared against the cost of safety razors and foam. However, they are called safety razors for a reason. I was changing to a new blade this morning and wasn’t paying attention when tightening the handle, and managed to slice open my finger, cue copious amounts of blood. Having wrapped my finger in a wash cloth to stem the bleeding I set about quickly shaving, before fixing up my finger. Only half way through shaving I realised I hadn’t secured the handle properly, and little patches of blood were appearing on my face and dripping off my chin. Added to my finger, this all made for a very convincing homemade impersonation of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Still I’m saving money this way I keep telling myself.

Once I was patched up Mrs P and I headed out to the supermarket. Now a cheaper brand supermarket has opened next door to our usual one, and like many people I suspect we’ve started to pick certain branded staples up there, before going into our normal destination. Though I’m still not convinced we actually spend less overall on the shopping by going to more places. One rule I have noticed that does seem to apply in supermarkets, is what I think of as a law of diminishing interaction, that is to say,” The cheaper the supermarket, the fewer the staff and the quicker the checkouts.”Low cost supermarket checkout staff are far quicker than those at the mid and high end, and you don’t get any aimless chit chat, about holidays and weekends, while you’re trying to pack your bags. The benefits of doing the weekly shop with Mrs P are amongst others, the social interaction, it really is amazing who you meet, then she gets a free trolley pusher, and I don’t have to worry I’ve bought the wrong thing, and it cuts down on impulse purchases, as both of us need to agree on something to buy it if it’s not on the list. We could shop online, but where’s the fun in that, and if we did it would just mean we’d have to find something else to do together on a Monday. Apart of course from patching me up with a first aid kit.

Yours thinking of growing a beard (as if Mrs P would let me, she's not a fan!)

Jay

Friday 8th Feb

At home today, what a pleasure. I know you might think being a house husband I’d always be at home but it’s really not the case. Got a list as long as my arm of things to do, and I do wonder who if anyone did this stuff when both Mrs P and myself worked. Or did these jobs not exist then? Do different lifestyle choices create different tasks to fill the time? It’s like I used to say about briefcases, it really didn’t matter what size I carried, the rubbish always expanded to fill the space available. A bit like ladies handbags.

Funny how the day starts with the kids rushing round trying to print stuff off for school, and cramming in last minute revision for tests we didn’t know they had. When the printer doesn’t work or the computer’s running slow it’s my fault, and why didn’t I know about this test? Well because teenage children don’t share everything with their parents, that’s why. IPhones, ipods and xboxes were in full flow yesterday evening, when none of this school work was mentioned.

The eldest is having some friends back after school, and the youngest is off to a friend’s after school for tea. I’m in charge of cooking for Mrs P, myself and five teenagers, and resort to my speciality risotto, or it would be my speciality if I had anything else I could make! The eldest returns home with friends, and they lock themselves in the back room, turn off the lights, and turn on the fire and TV, only coming out for snacks and drinks. Dinner is delivered to them, and five empty plates are returned which is a ringing endorsement for the cook. Either they were starving and would have eaten anything, or they enjoyed it. Mid-evening parents turn up to collect their offspring, Perry junior drops buy for their sports bag, and the eldest having finished entertaining gets changed and goes off to a party. From chaos Mrs P and I are suddenly quite alone. Fortunately there’s the cleaning up after the teenage onslaught to be done. Then I’m off to collect Perry junior, then it’s time to turn in. However the eldest is not due back until midnight so I lie awake reading and waiting for the doorbell to ring. The lot of parents of teenagers everywhere, I suspect. Eventually, at around 12.30am I get my light out. Nice to know there’s another teenage party to look forward to tomorrow! Seems the weekends at the moment are for teenage parties and dad taxi services.

Looking forward to a restful sleep

Jay

Thursday 7th Feb

Nice exercise on a bright day, a brisk 2 mile walk to the library. Preferable to driving, far more enjoyable, and cheaper given the cost of petrol. Arrive at the library to be greeted by job seekers on the computers. It really is a ridiculous situation when some people looking for work, can’t access the government sites they have to because of their lack of computer skills. One guy’s trying to log on the library system using his jobsite User ID and Password! He didn’t realise you have to go through one system, to get to the other. He leaves feeling stressed and downhearted, being forced to use computer systems he doesn’t understand, to apply for jobs he is skilled to do, that he doesn’t need any computer skills for, but his lack of computer skills means he will struggle to find and apply for these jobs, that he doesn’t need to use a computer to do. I can’t help thinking there must be better ways to help people back into employment.

Spend the afternoon being house proud and cleaning. Funny it started out as a chore and soon enough becomes something I can do on automatic pilot. Feeling bright when I finish inside, so I decide to clean the windows as well. Something Mrs P has mentioned needs doing, on more than one occasion recently. We did have a window cleaner until a few months ago but he stopped coming. I suspect there are a couple of possible explanations for this. Firstly, he had in the past year fallen off his ladder a couple of times, the fact he invariably had a can of beer about his person is not necessarily coincidental. Secondly, he had on occasion been seen around the local magistrates’ court, so his absence may not be entirely optional. He is what we call a character, and hopefully will return. Back to the window cleaning, and crikey it was cold out there. Wet hands and a chill breeze don’t mix well. I stopped after the downstairs windows, the thought of being up a ladder to do upstairs, being something that can wait until Easter. I was up the ladder recently checking the gutters were clear, with Perry junior footing the ladder. Suffice to say it moved a considerable amount, due to junior’s lack of interest in keeping it steady, and whilst that is fresh in my mind I won’t be going back up.

Knocked out the ironing later on, to complete a thoroughly domestic effort. I’ll be getting housemaid’s knee and a pinny before I know it. Pasta for tea, nice and easy that one. Can’t say my domestic triumphs were noticed by the rest of the family, which leaves you feeling like an unsung hero, and wondering why you bothered. Still I suspect that’s been the lot of housewife’s for generations. So I’ll just hitch up my metaphorical pinny and carry on regardless.

Yours chilly and swayed

Jay

Wednesday 6th Feb

A beautiful morning to be out delivering papers, if a little chilly to start with. Had the usual struggle to get the youngest to wear a coat - given it’s blowing a gale outside and must be below zero with the wind chill – and lost. Despite the Asthma, common sense in youth does not prevail.

Met a pal of mine for coffee and a catch-up late morning, and got talking to an old gent who works in MacDonald’s. Told us he gets up at 5am every morning with his wife, who still works in the local hospital, and he was telling us he’d never been late for his job, a real source of pride for him. I contrast this with numerous stories I hear of youngsters starting jobs who just don’t turn in, or do so late (and possibly hungover), acting as though the world owes them a living. I wonder if it’s a generational thing, and hope that me and Mrs P can install a sense of responsibility in our two.

Get home to two letters from the tax man (HMRC), which contain three different tax codes for next year! Help! How does this help? I’ve now got 15 minutes listening to music-on-hold to look forward to, before speaking to someone with a geordie accent (the HMRC centre must be in the North East), who explains it why three tax codes to me, then makes suitable amendments and tells me to expect a revised tax code. Time will tell but my recent experience with large organistaions has been poor, as regular readers will know, so I travel this road more in hope than expectation.

 

Go to the outlaws for dinner, and very pleasant it is. But I’ve noticed recently that elderly people of my acquaintance have the habit of starting conversations in the middle, and not at the beginning. They just assume you know what they’re talking about. I share the following conversation from yesterday as an example.

“He broke the record last night!”

“Sorry?”

“That young lad, broke the record for the Rubics cube.”

“Sorry, I’m not with you.”

“12 seconds, and he can do it blindfold.”

“Right, Ok. Can you pass the potatoes please?” Me, with a resigned tone.

Ever enlightened.

Jay

Tuesday 5th Feb

Had to take the youngest for an annual Asthma check-up today, which was good timing as the cold weather brings it out. Had an interesting conversation with the Asthma Nurse who informed me that up to a third of the population may now have Asthma, and the increase is being blamed on environmental issues. So for instance poor nutritional choices, which infers people buying poor quality food, ready meals, etc … plus a lack of exercise in young people, because exercise helps to open up the lungs. So it appears to be a vicious circle, people on low incomes buy what they can afford  which is not always the best quality, kids are getting less exercise as schools offer less sports both curricular and extracurricular, and kids develop asthma. I’m probably simplifying things but it is a bit Catch 22.

Another interesting thing I found out at the doctors today was that a lack of sleep inhibits growth hormones in youngsters. So those kids locked to their Xboxes and Playstations’ into the wee small hours on school nights, may have potential to be smaller. Fortunately in the Perry household the xbox goes off around 9’ish, and the kids get plenty of exercise both in school and outside. Good parenting or dumb luck, who can tell? Just need to get the mobiles turned off, and we’ll have it cracked.

Work experience, something we never had in my day but schools are keen on now. So the kids in Year 10 have to arrange a week’s work experience for themselves in the Summer Term. A large number appear to end up at their parents’ work place, and it has become obvious as we have recently sought a place for one of our kids, that a lot of places that used to offer this support to young people no longer do. Guess what reason we have been given the most for this? Would you believe Health and Safety regulations? Of course you would. Now whether this is true or just an excuse we don’t know. Interesting to note that the local council which used to offer work experience no longer does, and you really would have thought that local government might want to support youngsters experiencing the workplace, funny that. Fortunately, we heard today that it looks like we’ve got something sorted, and it’s somewhere Perry Junior wants to go, so fingers crossed it all comes off. Otherwise they’ll be going to work with Mrs Perry, and I’m not sure that’s in anyone’s best interests.

 

Thoughtfully yours

 

Jay

Monday 4th Feb

Well it just goes to show you don't always see what's right in front of you, or put another way, you see what you expect to be there. Last week, Wednesday morning to be precise, after Mrs Perry had departed for work, me and the youngest were have a bit of pre-school sport in the hall. Now we have the same light fitting in the hall and on the landing, comes down on a short pole and then there are three seperate lights in three glass bowls. What happened was the ball in question took a quick edge and clean as a whistle knocked one of the glass bowls up and over its' light bulb and onto the floor, where it settled in about 100 separate pieces! "What are we going to tell mum?" was the first question out. To which I replied, "Nothing, don't mention it, she might not notice!" Unlikely I know, clutching at straws, possibly, given the time of year and the fact it's in use a lot at the moment. However, the bulb was still working, so the light wouldn't be any different, so there was a chance. In the meantime I visited the chap we'd bought the light from, only to find him no longer there. However, through a kind neighbouring company, who knew him I passed on my details, and he got back to me, and I ordered a replacement. You know at that point I wondered if we might just get away with it. Then this morning as Mrs P was hugging our eldest goodbye, she looked up! and despite attempts to distract her, she was not to be dissuaded. Two things played in our favour at this point. Firstly, I had a replacement ordered, and secondly, it had taken her the better part of 5 days to notice the glass bowl was missing from the light. I think we got away with it.

 

To update on the digital TV saga, (see Friday 1st Feb). Despite protestations from the supplier that all was now well, on Sunday evening as we settled down to watch Top Gear, the digital box turned itself off and restarted, mucking up a recording as it did so. So today once again I phoned, and once again a kind person in India reset the box remotely, and this time it is definitely sorted, again! They did though place an order for an engineer to come and fit a replacement box a week on Friday, as they seem to now accept there may be a problem. However, as the appointment is not for 2 weeks I now have the option to cancel it, if the digital service is ok up until then. I'm almost hoping it goes wrong again now, so I don't have to make that decision. It never ceases to amaze how often a thing has to go wrong before a large company will accept it is actually broken, and not just the customer who can't use it properly.

 

Yours having just about got away with it this time

 

Jay

 

Weekend working

I know I said I had the weekend off, but I just needed to say that this weekend I learnt a new definition of the word scared. It’s the first time you get in a car with your Teenage Learner Driver child. Yes, child No.1 has started driving lessons and I’m volunteered to take them out to practice in Mrs P’s car. I’ve yet to decide what is more terrifying, the teenage driving, or the thought of having to explain to Mrs P the damage to the car, if and when it happens. I fear this story will run and run.

Yours on shaky ground

Jay

Friday 1st Feb

Call centres – another reason you really don’t have time to go to work. The levels of customer service in this country are still by and large awful, based on recent experiences which came to a head this morning.

 

We got our eldest a new iPhone last month as their old contract expired, and having agreed a package, took free unlimited texts as part of it. (As I’ve previously noted, for teenagers today mobile phones aren’t for talking on!) 3 weeks after taking out the contract the phone stopped working, and when I phoned up I was told the credit limit had been exceeded, all due to texts; funny when we have unlimited texts, I said. They apologised and said it would be credited back against the account, and the phone was re-enabled. It happened again 3 weeks later, exactly the same issue, and the reason was the credit had never been processed by our mobile provider. Same again yesterday, cut off for the third time in less than 2 months! This time however on the first 5 times I tried to call, whatever selections I made on their menus, I got a recorded message about excessive demand for iPhone 5’s and hung up on. I JUST WANT TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE! No online chat facility available! No email address available! Eventually on the sixth call some 30 minutes later, I get music-on-hold, and after 10 minutes holding hallelujah a human voice. Very apologetic, yes still the same problem, credit not processed by the provider, but promised it had now been resolved, and the phone would be working again. I can’t get past the feeling you get what you pay for, and as prices fall service worsens. Do I believe the provider has sorted it out and the phone won’t be cut off again, of course not. Do I believe they care, of course not.

 

Funnily enough I’ve also been having a running battle with our broadband and TV provider recently, culminating in a complaint from myself listing 10 points of issue with their new service, (there were more, but 10 seemed enough). Their first response some 100 hours later, from India, despite an email promising me a response in 24-72 hours, was to tell me to turn the box off and turn it on again! Firstly, do they seriously believe I hadn’t tried that, and secondly, how does that help with my issues on the design of their new service. Lazy, late and not caring; in all rubbish service. To give you the abbreviated version, I sent their reply back, with a short pithy response, and 3 days later got a call from a nice chap who went through my points with me. However, the digital TV box is still turning itself off at random times during viewing so I called this morning and spent 20 minutes on the phone with an lady resetting the box remotely, and telling me the original software update had had some problems, but hopefully they were now resolved, and no it wasn’t just me! Why couldn’t they just have emailed their customers and pointed out the known issues, with the new software and design, and when they were expecting to have them fixed. As it is the rubbish customer service has led to another unhappy customer, and his family.

 

If I was working how would these things ever get sorted, there just wouldn’t be time. So that was the morning gone.

 

As per yesterday, had to knock out the cleaning in the PM, but found time to sit down with the child who is still off, and watch some cricket, as we relaxed into the weekend. So not all bad. Can’t help wondering if it had been Tuesday and not Friday, if I’d have sent them back to school today, and what decision we’d have made if I hadn’t been a house husband! I do feel some sympathy for working parents in these situations, but not enough to want to be one.

 

Slowly calming down.

Jay

Thursday 31st Jan

I spent this morning in the library (IT Support Volunteer), and never cease to be amazed at the amount of people who don’t know where to find the print functionality on a computer, running Windows software. I’ve taken to telling them to use CTRL + P, the ubiquitous shortcut, but seeing some people’s reactions to it you’d think it was magic. There were French Fancies out when I went for a cuppa, they brought back childhood memories. Along with Battenburg they were the luxury cakes of my youth. I still love Battenburg to this day but don’t often buy it, probably so it can still remain a luxury in my mind.

Popped in to see the folks on the way home, it’s amazing how they either seem to be on a holiday or are planning one. Still you’ve got to figure they deserve to make the most of what they have, while they can. Health can be a dodgy thing as you get on in life, so they need to get on to get the inheritance spent.

I was planning to get the cleaning and ironing done this afternoon, but no sooner had I walked through the door than school called to say our youngest wasn’t feeling well and could I come and get them. Now I remember the benefit of being at home, I can look after sick children. By the time we were home and the child was in pyjamas, on the sofa, under their duvet, in front of the TV, the cleaning was going to be a rush job. So being a caring parent I made a cuppa and sat down to watch a dvd of England’s Greatest Cricket matches with them. What a lovely way to enjoy some quality time with your child. Now I really do remember the benefit of being at home!

Still smiling

Jay