Friday 28th June

And the rain’s back. As I stare out of the kitchen window this morning and remember those halcyon days of summer. There’s just cereal and toast on the menu for breakfast in the Perry household today, it’s the lull before the weekend storm as Mrs P has promised us a fry-up tomorrow morning.

I drop the youngest at the station for his final day of work experience and wave off both Mrs P and the eldest in the rain. The eldest is going to a school Prom tonight. Her official one is next year, but she’s been invited the year aboves tonight, and so will be on high alert when she gets in. As ever at the moment I’ve errands to run and I come across my usual dose of poor service with Santander. I go to an empty counter to pay some money into a savings account for Mrs P and 5 minutes later I’m still watching the lady trying to get her machine to print in the book. By this time there’s a large restless queue formed behind me. In the end she gives up and I get a paper print out instead!

The power steering on my car is not working and I’m trying to self diagnose it but the rain doesn’t help. I manage to test the battery which seems ok but draw the line at crawling under the car in the rain. It’ll just have to wait, I just hope it doesn’t mean £ signs racking up.

Just after lunch as I’m trying to finish filling holes around skirting boards before the new carpet comes, I get a call from the youngest who has been let out early from work experience and so jay-le-taxi goes to collect him. No sooner are we back than I get a text to pick up the eldest, who is getting out of school early, and so once again jay-le-taxi hits the streets. The eldest is then fully into getting ready mode, hair, make-up, shoes that cripple your feet, etc … I knock up tea for us all as Mrs P is home handy, and Mrs P and I then take photos of the eldest in her finery, and also with her brother for the family album. Her date arrives for her, and Mrs P drops them off at a friend’s. The plan is they all go on to a Club after the Prom, and then the girls have a sleep-over at another friend’s house. As parents it’s both an exciting and a worrying time. We see her taking her first exciting steps into the adult world, but we can’t help worrying at the same time, and I suspect we probably always will. Hopefully tomorrow we’ll find out how it all went; if she tells us that is.

Yours watching them growing up.

Jay

Thursday 27th June

After sorting out breakfast and cleaning up after it, I drop the youngest at the station. On returning home the eldest is ready to go to school, though still without seeing the point of going in today when most of her teachers won’t be there. Much to her credit though, off she goes.

I’m at the library this morning but I take the car as I have some errands to run afterwards. It’s a quiet morning, punctuated only by a visit from the folks. The ailing one has driven this morning, exactly six weeks after his operation, and bang on schedule, something he’s been looking forward to. All bar one of the librarians are women and the one chap isn’t in today. What I have noticed, having previously worked in a male dominated area, is that women are much more emotional at work, and are all aware of each other’s problems. One lady is very upset this morning which is quite strange to see in a work environment for me. Blokes normally keep things bottled up; women seem to like to share. It’s possible the girls way is more healthy in the long run, but I’m not sure that I prefer it.

The eldest got her days work off the one teacher (singular) who was in and brought it home, so I return to find sandwiches and a cup of tea waiting for me. The fact that she wants a lift to her friends has nothing to do with it. After a sociable lunch I start the housework only to be told that it was jay-le-taxi time and so out we go. After dropping off the eldest I return to the housework, only to get a text asking me to pick up the youngest at the station, so out goes jay-le-taxi again. I eventually get the housework finished and move on to making tea. I do risotto which is actually the most advanced my cooking gets, but at least I enjoy cooking it. After tidying up I’m just settling down to watch a bit of telly when the eldest texts and its jay-le-taxi time again, but at least she’s not far away.

Yours jay-le-taxi keeping busy

Jay

Wednesday 26th June

The day dawns bright and the Perry family sit down to breakfast together; a good way to start the day. I drop the youngest at the station as he’s on his work experience week, then I’m back to finish tidying up before waving the eldest off to school It’s the papers today and they came with a large number of leaflets this week, so I’m weighed down as I go about my round. I get most of the way around before I realise I’m not going to get the whole lot delivered this morning, because of my other commitments today. So I leave the last block for later and get on with my errands which today cover the butchers, two different dry cleaners and a GP’s. The GP’s in question I have discussed before, it’s the one Mrs P and the kids use and is now attached to a hospital. One of the practical results of this now is that you can’t get parked. A hospital, at least two GP practices and a specialist centre for heart care, and they provide parking for a football team. Who plans these developments I wonder?  

I’m in a hurry because I’m umpiring a cricket match this afternoon over the other side of town. I grab a bit of early lunch and still manage to be slightly later than I’d have wished. It’s a representative U13’s game and the lads play in a good spirit, and it ends in a close finish. All this fresh air is helping me get a half decent tan.

I get home as the rest are finishing a late tea, and find Mrs P sent the teenagers out with each other’s lunches today. The upshot of this was the youngest on finding he had his sisters lunch went to the chippy instead! The rest of us are secretly jealous I think. The eldest just ate what she was given, and to be fair to Mrs P she does make their lunches every day, and so the odd mix up is only to be expected.

I pop out to finish my paper round, and then spend some time playing with the youngest in the garden. You need to grab these moments while you can, given the unforgiving nature of the British summer. I then do the ironing before trying to relax for the rest of the evening. The eldest is meant to be in school tomorrow, but they are not being taught much this week, due to trips and other things. Some of the teachers are on strike tomorrow, so the value of her going in is very limited, however it’s the right thing to do. She’d prefer to stay off but we’ll see what the morning brings.

Yours exposed to fresh air.

Jay

Tuesday 25th June

We’re all up for breakfast together again today, a mixture of cereals, bacon, toast, bananas and croissants, as you asked. I then have to drop the youngest at the local train station as he’s on work experience this week. He’s got himself a week at one of the big local cricket clubs and spent yesterday throwing bricks into a skip, watching live cricket and a bit of daytime TV. Given the weather is fair this week he’s got quite a good result. At least he’s getting experience of using the trains, and turning up on time. To be honest from what I see and hear, not a lot of kids seem to get a huge amount from work experience weeks. Mostly due to the limited amount they are able or allowed to do.

The carpet is coming! I repeat, the carpet is coming! On Monday in fact. This means we finally have an end date to our decorating of the lounge. It also meant that this morning, I was touching up and filling holes in. I then decided to take a crack at finally fixing the toilet seat. I followed my planned strategy and it looked ok initially. It was only later in the day I noticed it was not secure again, so I suppose its back to the drawing board on that one.

I have to pop into town in the afternoon, and this time, unlike last week, I’m happy to report that the trains ran to time. I get home just as the eldest gets in, the youngest is already home having been released early from his work experience. I make myself and the eldest a cup of tea, before getting stuck into the ironing. I then get tea ready as Mrs P and the eldest are going shopping together this evening. This means an argument as to who will drive in our brave new world. Mrs P wins and off they go. They return later having had a successful shop, but in disagreement over the eldest’s drive home. I think it’s a mother teenage daughter thing. Mrs P and I proceed to take an evening stroll around the block and stop to chat with a neighbour, very civilised behaviour to end the day.

Yours not experiencing work.

Jay

Monday 24th June

Road trip! Today the eldest and I are off to Durham so she can look at the University. This means it’s another early start and we’re heading north. Rather than facing too much motorway driving I go up the M6 and cut across country from the Lake District. We stop for a cup of tea, and the bacon rolls Mrs P sent us out with, at a roadside café on the Dales, and despite it being chilly the early morning view is wonderful. Our journey proceeds through a number of small towns I’ve never been through before, most of which are decorated in bunting, though we’re not sure if it’s still up from the Jubilee.

I drop the eldest at the University, get parked and then join her. We have a look around the library before she goes off to her subject talk and I take a walk up to the cathedral. I’ve never been to Durham Cathedral before and it’s actually smaller inside than I expected, having seen it previously only from a passing train carriage. There are plenty of people on hand to help you, and the cathedral and surrounds are very traditional.

I walk down the hill to the market square passing a number of university colleges and getting a feel for the place. I end up sat in the Students’ Union waiting for the eldest and am amused to find that a pint of beer is cheaper than a regular cup of coffee. It makes you wonder what they think students should be drinking.

She eventually appears and we tour a couple of the colleges which are very impressive, though I’m amused that it is parents and not the kids that ask all the questions. When one lady asks how often the rooms are cleaned, I see her son shake his head and raise his eyes to the heavens, and her husband laughing. We go to the accommodation talk together,r and once again it’s the parents asking questions. Another tour of a college, all of which have been conducted by bright friendly students, and we’re back on the road. The verdict on Durham is nice place, probably quite quiet in comparison to a lot of cities, but looks like a great place to study. Looks like it will make the eldest’s list.

The drive home is only blighted by the motorway being blocked at Preston, where some poor soul has had a puncture in the outside lane at rush hour. We arrive home and Mrs P takes the eldest straight out to dancing, while I wolf down my tea and head out to a Governor’s meeting at the school. I have a quick moment to take in the wonderful, and frankly exotic A level art exhibition, before the meeting. I don’t know if it’s deliberate government policy but everything governors now have to deal with seems to be so policy and process orientated and consists of huge amounts of paper, that I fear that the education of the children is being lost in the paperwork and processes. It’s a sad thought to end a good day on.

Yours in favour of bunting.

Jay

Friday 21st June

The eldest is out early today, as she’s off on a University visit to Leeds with school, and Mrs P takes the opportunity to drop her off and get into work early. This gives the youngest and I the chance for a leisurely breakfast, and in my case a leisurely tidy up afterwards. I go out handy to pick up some sealant which I’ll use to complete my work on the big DIY project that was the lounge, before the carpet hopefully arrives next week. I also manage to buy some eggs, having forgotten yesterday.

On returning home I remember I still haven’t attempted to fix the toilet seat (see Wed 12^th June). I really must get it done next week, no excuses.

I’m off out to town this afternoon and so I’m on an early lunch. I decide to take the train and I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that it’s late, but I am. I only remember the good times travelling on trains not all the delays I suffered over the years. As if to compound matters the train back is delayed as well, when for no accountable reason it stops twice in the middle of nowhere.

When out in town I am once again struck by a modern phenomenon that I don’t understand. In days gone by people only used suitcases once a year when they went on holiday. Now you see lots of people dragging suitcases on wheels around town on any given day. I understand some business people use the air hostess style, trolley dolly pull-alongs, to carry heavy laptops. But why would you take one, or a fully fledged suitcase shopping with you? The sceptic in me things they’d be great for putting things you’d nicked in, but surely not everyone pulling a suitcase around a town/city centre is on the rob. They certainly aren’t all newly bought cases either. I guess I’ll just have to continue to wonder.

The eldest had a good time today with her University visit. I think this means she liked the accommodation. After tea she takes her brother to cricket practice and then goes to drop off something at a friend’s. Two hours later she is still not back with the car and Mrs P and I are wondering where she has disappeared to. An exchange of texts reveals she is still at her friends, intending to take them for a drive. Mrs P and I wonder if this is the shape of things to come. Mrs P and I get out for an evening stroll for the first time in a while, and then as the eldest hasn’t returned jay-le-taxi goes out to pick up the youngest. The eldest returns safely before dark having had a pleasant evening out.

Yours not pulling luggage around town.

Jay

Thursday 20th June

Today starts out warm and fresh, and having looked at the weather forecast with rain not due until the afternoon I leave the house in shirtsleeves to walk to the library. With invigilation season finished I’m now back to my IT support volunteer role at the local library. After a pleasant walk down I spend the morning mostly sorting out printing issues and helping people find job websites. Halfway through the morning I notice that there has been some rain. As I leave at lunchtime the rain is certainly coming down, and being without a coat I’m getting wet, though to be honest it’s not an unpleasant experience.

I stop off at the folks for a cup of tea and I borrow an umbrella. As I continue my walk it dawns on me that Mrs P hung out the washing this morning, which is now going to be soaking. Oh the joys of following the weather forecast. On getting home I rescue the washing and bung it in the dryer. Funny to think its midsummer’s day tomorrow and yet the dryer’s on. On the bright side I get the benefit of having cut the grass last night.

My replacement powerline adapters arrived from BT at lunchtime, which was very prompt, but when I plugged them in I still couldn’t get the sports channels. So I installed the new home hub I had previously been sent, a couple of months ago, but had never got around to putting in. Et voila, Sky sports channels 1 & 2 appeared but not ESPN. So at least we’ll be able to get the British Lions test match on Saturday morning. I write back to BT however, asking about ESPN which I’m paying for but still not receiving. I hope this saga will be resolved soon.

I put the racing from Royal Ascot on the telly and get on with the ironing. There is great excitement when the Queens’ horse wins the Ascot Gold Cup, and as happy as I am for her majesty, I can’t help reflecting that I backed the second! Hey ho.

The teenagers arrive home after not particularly stressful days at school. It does seem to be a little bit silly season time after exams are over and I wonder how much they really learn at this time of year, though the lack of homework is nice for them. After getting tea ready reasonably successfully today, as I seemed to be juggling the times of half a dozen different things, I watch as Mrs P tidies up and then the youngest and I go to a mid-season meeting of the district umpires association. I am cheered as always by the presence of stereotypes at committee meetings. It makes me proud to be British.

Yours feeling patriotic.

Jay

Wednesday 19th June

The teenagers start today with sausage sandwiches for breakfast. On white bread of course. I know there may be people out there who feed their kids on shaved guava fruit for breakfast, but kids need energy to get them through the day, so in the Perry household I champion a decent breakfast. Today it’s a poached egg sandwich for me, I know it sounds odd but on toasted white bread it works. To be fair Mrs P does try to give them something healthy for lunch; it’s not all fun-time eating.

On such a beautiful day I set sail for the first time this year in T-shirt and shorts to do the papers. Bravely I don’t even take a back up top in case it’s colder than it looks, but thankfully it’s a beautiful day, and I don’t know if it’s the good weather but plenty of people mostly strangers stop to chat while I’m on my round.

Back home I turn on the telly to sit and watch the start of England vs South Africa in the cricket only to find I can’t get the sports channels on my BT Vision service. Then I remember I upgraded the software as requested last thing last night. So I get on to BT via Live Chat online to try to resolve the problem, and once I’ve explained the problem the first chap in India disconnects. So I try again and after about 30 minutes of another fellow in India telling me to turn various things on and off he tells me to turn something off, that causes me to disconnect him! So third time lucky I decide to phone up and I get to talk to a nice gentleman in India who explains that the adapters I have, are not now compatible with the upgraded service, and he will arrange to send out some new ones. He was very helpful. Oh and by the way he told me that the second live chat person, had raised my issue to something called second level support, I think, who would call me back in 24-48 hours. Amazing to think you could wait two days for someone to call you, to help with the service you are paying for, that BT cannot deliver on the kit they’ve provided you with!

 As you can imagine, I cannot understand why I would be offered an upgrade that the kit BT had provided was not compatible with, causing me to lose the service I’m still paying them for, and so I forwarded this question as a complaint to them and I wait to see their response. I think as the years go by I’m less willing to accept rubbish service. Traditionally I’d say nothing and just change supplier never to return. Now I’m happy to put my head above the parapet.

After lunch I get the house cleaned before the teenagers get home. A friend of mine who is a driving instructor calls by and offers to take the eldest on the motorway to practice. As part of passing her test she never had to drive on the motorway and so off they go. An hour later she returns and even though she has lived in the same house all her life, due to her catastrophic knowledge of local geography, she has no real idea where she has just driven, only that it was on the motorway and they go fast there.

In the evening I mow the lawn in anticipation of it raining tomorrow, if it doesn’t the grass will look very brown, very soon.

Yours trying not to complain too much.

Jay

Tuesday 18th June

Today is my final invigilation session of the exam season. I have to say, as a break from house husbandry it does make a pleasant change. As with all things it helps that my colleagues are nice people. As the old saying goes. “If you want nice people to work for you, employ nice people.” Too many people have to work with people they don’t like, and life really is too short for that.

After the morning session I have to go to the doctors so they can remove some blood to test. Who knows what they are looking for, but at least the nurse is very good at her job and I don’t feel anything. The waiting room is very busy with the average age over 60. It shows where the real demand on your GP comes from.

I stop at the folk’s house for a cuppa and a chat on the way home. The ailing one is looking much better and certainly on the road to recovery. It appears that following my latest intervention at the weekend Olympic Holidays have finally provided the refund due, and a Cancellation Invoice, though it may be too late to restore their reputation in the folk’s house.

Mrs P has left me instructions for making a salad for tea. You really wouldn’t imagine it would be that complicated, but with boiling potatoes and eggs, and chopping a huge variety of vegetables up it takes me an hour to prepare. Unbelievable really, but it just goes to show. In case you were wondering, it was a tuna salad, and yes it did taste good.

Late afternoon I pick up the youngest from school, and then his granddad and we go to watch the end of a county cricket 2^nd XI T20 game. A beautiful sunny afternoon by the coast, and the sound of leather on willow. Quintessentially English and very enjoyable, especially as the ball was sent flying out of the ground on a number of occasions. People really should be careful where they park the car near cricket grounds.

It’s our wedding anniversary today and to celebrate 19 years of wedded bliss, Mrs P and I take ourselves off to the pub to ruminate over our time together. Me over a pint, her over a coke. Funny how things change over time, and never turn out quite how you expect, but I think that’s a good thing, I’d hate to be predictable. The teenagers as ever these days cope well without us, and help each other out. Either we’re doing a good job of raising them, or we’ve just been very lucky so far. I don’t think there’s any magic formula to it; just give them your time.

Yours looking back in time.

Jay

Monday 17th June

It is definitely getting warmer and having fed and watered the Perry’s I see them out of the front door, and depart for the supermarket. For the first time this year I manage without a jacket or top, but in just a T-shirt, the next thing you know I’ll be breaking out the shorts! The supermarket is fairly empty and so I’m able to whizz round following Mrs P’s meticulous list. I then stop off at the bank, the butchers and the library (I’m sure there’s a nursery rhyme in there somewhere.)

Having returned home I get a call from the ailing one. You may remember the Olympic Holiday saga last month. Well to update you they have still not provided the refund and cancellation invoice they committed to provide a month ago. Somewhat typically for faceless corporate companies they are happy to take your money but not so quick to help when you have a problem. Well, following weekly what can only be described as begging emails to them, nothing was proceeding, despite their commitment. So yesterday I had a web chat with someone at Olympic, and followed it up with a strongly worded email which elicited a call from Olympic to the ailing one this morning, informing him they were just now processing the refund and printing off the cancellation invoice. This has been a very poor experience, and it is now unlikely that the folks will book with Olympic Holidays again because of it. If only Olympic Holidays had done what they promised. If only service issues were easier to raise. If only it was easier to complain; complaints normally need to be submitted in writing (by letter)! If only Olympic Holidays had phone numbers that didn’t cost you to call them (they use 0844 numbers), I might actually believe there was a customer service ethos in the company. But no, there most assuredly is not. If you cared, why would you charge your customers to call you?

I’m invigilating in the afternoon, and for all the pupils it is their last exam before leaving the school. It’s a short one at an hour and passes quickly, and the pupils leave on a wave of relief. I’ve mentioned tongue-in-cheek to the girls in the exams office that they really should bring us a cup of tea, during the longer exams, and so today they present me with a flask so I can do it myself. A useful gesture as the flasks we have at home are a few years old and now have that flask taste, that makes all drinks taste the same.

There is no ironing today as Mrs P got it done over the weekend, and so I get tea ready on time. The teenagers have no homework today in this post-exam time, and so the Perry house is quite relaxed. The eldest is off out and takes the car for the first time on her own. Mrs P and I are slightly anxious for her as she pulls off and disappears down the road. She returns an hour later with both her and the car in one piece, which is a relief.

We put her on the insurance at the weekend having trawled the internet for prices, the range of which was frankly staggering.  The eventual price to put her, a teenager, on a policy is considerably more than a week’s holiday for the Perry family in Wales, to put it in context. An absolute rip off, but what can you do.

I pop out to football in the evening and get a decent sweat on, only to return home to be told in no uncertain terms by Mrs P, that the eldest had posted a photo of me on Facebook, that made me look ridiculous (and there was me thinking that was my job!) To be fair it was a horrible picture and I instructed the eldest to remove it. That is the first time I’ve been caught out by the invasiveness of social networking, and I don’t like it.

Yours considering training to be a Luddite.

Jay

Friday 14th June

Road Trip, as they say in American movies. In this case though, I’m driving the eldest and two of her friends to Edinburgh, so they can look around the University. For the next couple of months and the through the autumn term, teenagers up and down the country will be visiting places of higher education to try and decide, grades permitting, where they would like to study. We pick her friends up early though being summertime it is light, and therefore so much nicer than in the dark of winter. When I used to work for a living I spent countless hours driving up and down motorways, it’s not something I miss, though I am quite happy to do it if I need to. We quickly escape the urban sprawl and are moving happily north up the M6. When I look around I realise the excited chatter has died down and all three teenage girls are asleep. Maybe it was just too early for them.

I pull off at Teebay Services in Cumbria, and they awake. I get myself the days’ first cup of coffee and stand outside eating the bacon sandwich I made last night, the eldest tucks into hers with a cup of Hot Chocolate, and we watch the ducks on the pond and admire the scenery. We’re soon back on the road and thankfully the traffic is still light. We easily get into Edinburgh and the Sat-Nav quickly routes us to the University where I drop off the girls at 10.30am, bang on the time I was aiming for. I know some parents go around with their kids, but I feel the eldest needs to get a feel for a place herself and make up her own mind without being influenced by Mrs P or me. I tell them to call me later and go off to find somewhere to park. Edinburgh is not a city I know well but I can find my way around. I was staggered firstly, at the cost of on-street parking, the best I found was £9 for 6 hours and secondly, at the amount of traffic wardens there were. They’d have to book a lot of people to cover their wages. A car park off Princes Street wanted £16.50! I ended up near Holyrood paying £6 for the day, which seemed reasonable in comparison. I know you probably pay a lot more in London, but crikey parking is expensive.

I wander up the Royal Mile to the Castle, marvelling at the number of tourists, and the tourist shops. Then for a bit of culture I popped into St Giles’ Cathedral and caught the end of a service that was in progress. It included the fastest rendition I have ever heard of The Lord’s Prayer, given by what sounded to my untutored ear an American though he may have been Canadian. I then pop into Piemaker for lunch, consisting of a Scotch Pie and a Haggis Pie. Well “when in Rome” and all that. The pies were excellent, and reasonably priced, and I follow them up with an Italian coffee in an independent cafe a couple of doors down. It too is excellent, and I’m please I avoided the usual corporate chains.

I wander down onto Princes Street and go into the Scottish National Gallery where they have some wonderful paintings and spent some moments lost gazing at an Édouard Manet. They also have Rodin’s ‘The Kiss’ on loan, and I am once again amazed by the power of great Art. The sun is shining and so I take the opportunity to sit in the gardens on Princes Street and watch the world go by, people really should “take some time to smell the roses”. It really is fascinating, and it’s free to appreciate the good things in the day.

Late afternoon the girls call to say they’re finished and we meet up for a final wander up to the castle before setting off home. Once again the traffic is good despite it being a Friday. In fact I am surprised how easy it has been to drive into and out of Edinburgh. As we hit the motorway into England the heavens open, and torrential rain comes down. Funny that, sunny in Scotland and wet in England. We stop at Westmoreland Services, once again in Cumbria on the way back down and I get the days’ final coffee, as much as anything to keep me alert. Apart from the rain the drive is uneventful and we drop the girls off home about 9.30pm. The eldest and I then go via the chippy on the way home. A nice end to a fine day.

Yours tired but smiling.

Jay

Thursday 13th June

The day of the driving test dawns, and initially this means the eldest gets a lie-in and the morning off school. Having breakfasted with Mrs P and the youngest I wash up and wave them off, before getting the eldest up for a cup of tea and a bacon sandwich. I’m off to the library this morning and so I wish her good luck, tell her just to do her best and that she’ll be ok.

At the library I end up helping a lady who is trying to document a family tree to aid a legal matter. Unfortunately she is not entirely clear on what she wants and how it should look, and none of the online templates appears to fit her needs. As a result I end up creating a template from scratch and populating it for her so she can get a single look at what she is dealing with. Two hours later I leave her in a better position than we started and hopefully nearer to her goal.

The upshot of my time in the library is I haven’t had time to think about the eldest doing her driving test. But as I head home to meet her I think of little else. I’m expecting a text to let me know how she got on and like an expectant father keep staring at my phone. No text in my mind means it’s bad news, and when the doorbell rings I’m braced for the worst. I reach the door to be greeted by an enormous grin from the other side and an exultant teenager leaping at me holding a driving test Pass Certificate. I was so pleased she passed, she deserved it, and of course it means I no longer have to be frightened by sitting next to a learner driver. The next scary thing will be the price of car insurance for her, but we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it. My afternoon passed in a cheerful haze as a proud father.

I did get around to some ironing and greeted the youngest who’d been the first to receive the good news via text. He was very happy for his sister, though hasn’t suggested she drive him anywhere yet. I also fill up the car with petrol, something I have not done for a long time, and close my eyes when I have to pay. The eldest and I are off on a road trip tomorrow and I’ll need a full tank, otherwise I would normally run nearer empty than full.

The youngest has his final exam tomorrow morning and so diligently applies himself to his last revision session, while I cook up bacon sandwiches for the trip and put them in the fridge (we do eat other things in case you were wondering). I hope we don’t forget them in the morning. Then it’s an early night as we’ve a dawn start, but more of that in tomorrow’s blog. I go to sleep dreaming of the eldest ferrying me to the pub and back; could this mean the end of jay-le-taxi? Or will the high cost of car insurance win the day?

Yours always a proud father.

Jay

Wednesday 12th June

I’m out doing the paper round to start the day, having fed and watered the teenagers (sausage sandwiches today), and Mrs P. Despite being out at school time the traffic is remarkably light today, and there don’t seem to be as many parents and kids on their way to the local junior school. I suspect it’s that wonderful tradition of taking the kids away on a school trip in the summer term. When my kids were at the school they went to Wales for a week of wonderful activity filled days, and Mrs P and I missed them very much. It was one of the first times away from home for each of them. Very much a rite of passage, for the Perry family.

Once home I clean the car out, inside only as I not a big fan of washing cars, after all isn’t that what the rain’s for? Then I clean the bathroom which I omitted to do yesterday, and in doing so I spot the toilet seat is wobbly again. In all honesty the toilet seat has been wobbly for well over a year now, punctuated by brief periods of solidity when my continuous attempts to mend it work  what are becoming increasingly short periods. I am giving consideration to a final solution tomorrow, and if that doesn’t work we may well be buying a new seat.

After lunch I’m invigilating, and it’s a nice group sitting an ICT GCSE. They have 90 minutes to complete the paper and 80% of them are finished within an hour, 50% within 45 minutes. It’s not that the paper is necessarily easy, but just that there is a lack of content in it. In a 90 minute paper surely you need something approaching 90 minutes worth of questions? Will Mr Gove’s proposal to make changes to GCSE’s address this sort of issue? Time will tell.

On returning home I welcome the teenagers, then make the eldest and me a cup of tea and enjoy some quality telly time with her. After putting the evening meal on the table and tidying up I decide as I’m on a roll to wash the windows. Mrs P has mentioned once or ten times that they need doing. As I’m outside the eldest leaves for a driving lesson, the eve of test lesson. Just think if she passes tomorrow I won’t have to go through any more bowel loosening moments in the car with her learning to drive. Instead they will be bowel loosening moments in the car with her clutching a valid driving licence. The youngest requires his bike as he’s off out with friends. This involves me getting it out of a rather cramped shed, adjusting the seat height and blowing up the tyres. I know he should probably be doing these things himself but I just seem to do them automatically. I must try harder to let go. He needs to build up these practical skills for himself. Worryingly his bike, which is supposedly sized for a small adult, is starting to look too small for him now. More expense looms on the horizon.

Yours almost practical.

Jay

Tuesday 11th June

Mrs P got up early this morning and at 6.30am I stuck my head between the curtains to see it was starting to spit with rain. Now incredibly my first thought was not, that’ll be nice for the garden. No, it was, the washing is out and it’ll be getting wet, it having been put out last night. It’s a good idea if the nights dry, I’d recommend it. So 6.31am finds me in my pyjamas in the garden taking in the washing! I fear this house husbandry is becoming ingrained in me.

Bacon is back on the menu for breakfast and jolly nice it is. I see the youngest off to school; he has a GCSE to sit this morning so fingers are crossed. Mrs P and the eldest depart and I tidy up before I’m off to invigilate. Maths is being examined today and once again there is a no-show, and plenty who turn up without the right equipment. As I stand thinking during the exam I get to wondering how kids who all seem to have iPhones or Blackberry’s, can’t provide rulers, protractors and compasses. It can’t be a cost issue given they can afford the price of those phones. One moment of light relief is provided by a student who asks me if a particular question is a trick question! Because of course you get plenty of those trick questions in GCSE’s.

After lunch and hanging the washing back out to finish drying, I get down to my weekly clean of the house. With Mrs P working on Mondays this month my schedule has been altered, but I manage to cope. I then get the well dried washing in and get the ironing done. In the words of the A Team, “I do love it when a plan comes together.” It’s pasta for tea and I follow the instructions I’ve been left by Mrs P to make an accompanying sauce. I feel it has all gone pretty well until the youngest asks if there is any bread and I realise I didn’t heat the baguettes that were meant to be eaten with the pasta. So all in all not a very successful effort, though the pasta seemed to be appreciated, at least people emptied their bowls.

As part of a driving test you can now be asked about oil and coolant levels in the car, as well as a couple of other things under the bonnet. As a result of this I have to lift up my cars bonnet to show the eldest where to look for these things. This involves me getting out the manual as I’m not altogether sure where they all are. Is this a further sign of emasculation? Or is it car manufacturers making cars only they can maintain to tie you in. On reflection it’s probably a bit of both. I take the eldest out to practice her manoeuvres, reversing around corners, three point turns and the pièce de résistance, bay parking between two parked cars. Previously we’ve gone for empty car parks to practice this manoeuvre but not tonight. To say my nerves are slightly shredded would be an understatement, but we did both survive.

Yours shaken but not stirred.

Jay

Monday 10th June

Another week dawns and the eldest is back to school after exams and study leave. She drags herself out of bed this morning not looking at all ready to face the world. The youngest by contrast has an exam this morning and is bright and alert. Mrs P has taken the opportunity to work on Mondays this month, and so having provided breakfast and tidied up after it, I am left to my own devices not long after 8 o’clock. In this case my own devices mean Invigilation, and so I’m soon walking down the road, dodging dawdling school children as I go.

I don’t really understand why some kids either just don’t turn up for exams or turn up late, as was the case for one this morning. No reason was given they just came in late. Surely this just puts more pressure on the pupil, even though they are still allowed the full time (as long as they arrive within a certain time window of the official start time.) Why would you do that to yourself?

After the exam I’m off to the supermarket, dispatched by Mrs P with a list, a budget and instructions not to make any impulse purchases. The list as ever is a thing of wonder, written in order as I walk round the supermarket allowing me to pick things up in the order they are on the list. Despite not being able to lay my hands on cotton buds, which were on the end of the aisle, I managed to negotiate the challenge quickly and under budget. Only later did Mrs P inform me that I had overdone it on the fruit, but I can hardly be blamed for that as I don’t eat that much of it, and so am not familiar with our normal quantities. I did bump into an acquaintance at the checkout who had one bottle of whisky, one bottle of gin and six bottles of wine in his trolley. Nothing else. But in his defence, he and his wife were going away for two days to visit friends.

After lunch I was back cutting grass on behalf of my father-in-law who is still sunning himself. Though fortunately because of the week of sunshine we’ve had, it has grown very little, and so was a quick job this week, and I did get a cup of tea and a biscuit and the opportunity to sit in a large garden in the sunshine. It makes you proud to be English. One unfortunate side effect of the lovely weather is Mrs P is carrying a bit of sunburn at the moment; she’s probably out in sympathy with the eldest who burnt her legs last week, though they have now recovered. Just goes to show we don’t really know how to cope with sunny weather in this country.

In the evening I go to football, and I really am getting worse, but to be honest I don’t care. It’s funny watching grown men acting like petulant schoolboys and sulking when things don’t go their way. Some people really do take themselves too seriously. When I return I take the eldest out for some driving practice, and by and large I’m not too scared by the experience. The test is drawing near, and with a following wind she’ll be alright. Like many things in life, she just needs a bit of good luck on the day.

Yours dreaming of an English country garden.

Jay

Friday 7th June

Well summer is well and truly here in the Perry household. The garden is starting to look like somewhere you wouldn’t mind spending some time, and we are starting to have to water the plants. The youngest and Mrs P are out early this morning and we even have to get the eldest up and out, as she has to be in school for the morning. My day is full of some traditional house husbandry tasks. Firstly it’s out with the duster and polish, and a quick whizz round the house and then I’m on to the vacuum cleaner for more of the same. Having seen off those twin challenges I shoot up to the local tip in the car to get rid of yesterday evenings hedge cuttings, and it being early Friday there isn’t a queue. The trick with the tip being to avoid weekends.

I’m back in time to wait for the carpet man to come and measure up. I always used to do it myself but cut it very close one time (within 5cm’s), so now I prefer to play safe. They said he’d be with me between 10am-12pm, so a relatively short window compared to some delivery times. In the meantime I have the joy of cleaning the bathroom and washing the floors, plus I manage to squeeze in a couple of cups of coffee. The eldest returns from her exertions, and the carpet man turns up just before 12. He is on time to be fair, and he is here for all of two minutes.

I make sandwiches for the eldest and me, and we enjoy them in front of some old episodes of Friends, something Mrs P and I watched together the first time around. In the afternoon I get the back hedge and bushes cut and bagged up, meaning that’s out of the way now until late September. It’s then time to make the tea, after which the eldest accompanied by Mrs P drives her brother to his cricket practice, while I take the opportunity for the second time today to visit a near empty local tip. I have to say hedge cutting has gone pretty smoothly this year. Mrs P then kindly treats me to a haircut out in the backyard. Clippers on short and away she goes. It must be the first time this year I’ve sat out there without my shirt on and not been cold. Maybe it is summertime after all.

Yours basking in the glow.

Jay

Thursday 6th June

Is a scrambled egg sandwich a strange way to start the day? Possibly, but it’s also a tasty one, and something of a new departure for me. Maybe risqué new breakfasts is the way to go, or maybe not. If the teenagers hadn’t had the bacon I‘d have been fine with that. Once I’ve waved off Mrs P (cereal and a banana in case you were wondering), and the youngest and cleared up I’m about to leave for the library when the eldest appears complaining about the noise we’d been making. At this point I have to profess a lack of sympathy as she goes back to bed.

A semi-productive morning in the library as I help a couple of people out, and in doing so find out how to do a couple of new things myself. I am continually amazed by how little I know. Mid-morning I have to take my mum to the doctors and I catch up with the ailing one. Recovery is slow after a major operation, but you’d have to hope some sunny days might help to put the spring back in his step. There’s a worrying spectre looming on the horizon for Mrs P and me, the one where your children grow up and move on and your parents replace them. Still we’ve a few years to get to grips with how that might play out.

The eldest has once again embarked on a social outing so I lunch alone before walking round the corner for a spot of invigilation. The mind wanders when you have 90 minutes, and not much to do but sit and think, and it’s surprising how unproductive that time can be. You’d hope for a eureka moment or at least an idea of note, but no. The best I can come up with is trying to remember the 50 American states.

After returning home and making myself a cuppa I greet the youngest and embark on the ironing. I then make tea for the three of us that are home, the non-socialites that is. After tea I decide to cut the front hedge. It’s a twice yearly thing, traditionally May and September. Turned out to be a good idea as it was pleasant out and Mrs P joined me to help tidying up. The only downside is the list of jobs she decided needed to be done outside. Anyway, the hedge and the bushes in the back take priority for tomorrow.

Yours getting to grips with the great outdoors.

Jay

Wednesday 5th June

Breakfast this morning was sausage sandwiches for the teenagers, the youngest had his before setting off for another day of exams, and the eldest’s was left under the grill for her to have when she got up. Mrs P was back to work, and I was invigilating. After an uneventful morning session I returned home late morning to be greeted by the eldest telling me she was off out to her friends for lunch, and then a group of them were going on to another friend’s birthday meal at a restaurant this evening. I tell you this study leave is tough! And where does the money come from to pay for it all? Cinema trips, presents, meals, things Mrs P and I rarely get anywhere near are an everyday occurrence for today’s teenage girls.

The afternoon exam invigilation passed more quickly, though as it was Physics I didn’t bother to look at the paper, Physics never being one of my strong points. Though having said that this morning’s exam was Child Development (you may not have even known that there was such a GCSE), and I made the mistake of having a look at that paper. The first question was on the Menstrual Cycle, I never got to the second one.

Returning home I welcomed back the youngest from what was hopefully a successful day of exams, and set about preparing a risotto for tea. The youngest set to revising for tomorrow’s exam and then after tea set about playing on his xbox, claiming he had done sufficient revision for tomorrow already, taking into account the revision he did at school today. This has been a pattern repeated all this week, and I can’t say Mrs P and I are entirely comfortable with the level of xbox usage at this time, but he says he’s doing enough, and until we see the exam results we’re not going to know. We know he needs some time to relax, but does it have to be on his xbox? I suspect, as parents, we are not alone.

Having been invigilating this morning I deliver the weekly paper round this evening, on what is a beautiful warm summers evening. On my return home and having just sat down with a cup of tea, I get a text from the eldest asking if jay-le-taxi could pick her and some friends up from the restaurant. No problem as usual, but I do get to wondering what might happen in the near future if she does pass her driving test.

Yours still le-taxi, at least for the moment.

Jay

Tuesday 4th June

Once again its breakfast for three this morning as the eldest isn’t in school this week. I feed the youngest a bacon sandwich and send him on his way with fingers crossed for his exams today. I leave the eldest a bacon sandwich under the grill and Mrs P who is having a day’s holiday, awaiting her arising, and I set off for some invigilation. It’s a beautiful day and I do feel guilty getting a hundred girls in off the playground in the sunshine, to sit a 2¼ hour exam in the sports hall. The time to be honest passed slowly but pass it did, and I got home to find the girls had gone out to enjoy the weather.

Halfway through my lunch they returned. I had had prior notice by text from the eldest to make them cups of tea, which I had done. We finished lunch together then I departed for more invigilation and the eldest went for a driving lesson. It was a short exam this afternoon and on my return Mrs P and I sallied forth to the carpet shop to finally place an order. Now when I think back to starting decorating the lounge in March, I didn’t expect to take this long to get to the end, but finally the end is in sight. They’re coming to measure up and scare us with a price on Friday. So far neither Mrs P nor I have wobbled in our commitment to the colour scheme, in her case I think she just wants it finished. In some ways I like the old carpet, a case in point being when I spilt coffee on myself today, the eldest asked, “Did it go on the carpet?” To which I could reply, “It doesn’t really matter.”

Later on I get to take the eldest out driving again. Her test is rapidly approaching, and apart from a questionable stall in the middle of the road, our outing went well. Halfway through the evening she announces she’s off to the cinema with a boy/friend, to use the current jargon, and could she have a lift and could we pick him up on the way. Jay-le-taxi was pressed into service, and was also asked to return at 11.15pm to pick them up. I just wonder will Mrs P and I be happier when she can drive herself, or will we be more worried because we don’t know how she’s getting on, and when she’ll be in. On balance at the moment I’d rather jay-le-taxi was in service.

Yours dealing with the eldest growing up.

Jay

Monday 3rd June

I know I shouldn’t complain, but should be glad the sun is at last shining, and I am. My problem is how a particular group of people dress when the sun comes out, in this case what look like peoples grandfathers dressing like their grandsons. I am talking about old blokes in kids’ shorts, T shirts and trainers. They look ridiculous. There was one particular guy at the supermarket this morning who topped off the ensemble with a leather jacket! He must have been the wrong side of seventy; I mean who let him out dressed like that? It’s a phenomenon mostly seen on holiday but one that is starting to show itself locally now. You don’t see grandmothers dressed like their teenage granddaughters, at least not very often, so why do old blokes do it? Is it the Viagra effect?

Having waved off the youngest on the start of exam week this morning, and accompanied Mrs P to the supermarket, we returned home to find the eldest had crawled out of bed and settled in front of the TV. The joys of study leave and no exams to study for. I then popped out to run a couple of errands and cut someone’s grass for them (don’t ask, I was doing the regular gardener a favour). I returned home and couldn’t find my keys when I went to get in the house. Fortunately Mrs P and the eldest were in so Mrs P and I scoured the house for them, but to no avail. The eldest showed scant interest in helping, before departing for a driving lesson. I then turned the car inside out, as did Mrs P, and still no joy. So I then retraced my steps on my journey revisiting the opticians, the butchers and the lady whose grass I had cut. At each destination I had to explain my predicament, and still no keys. On returning home I again searched the car, believing it to be the most likely place that I would have lost them. This time on the back seat, beneath a seat belt fastener, through a hole in the seat, amongst the springs I found them! Cue scenes of much celebration and joy. On a similar vein the youngest couldn’t find his school locker key – usually kept in his blazer - this morning. Mrs P searched before he left for school and whilst he was out. He returned to inform us he’d found the key in his blazer, where both he and Mrs P had looked this morning. It’s just been one of those days.

After a tea of delicious homemade soup and sausage rolls from Mrs P - I was at the butchers getting the sausage meat in case you were wondering - I decided to go to football, given it was such a nice evening and I do need to get a sweat on occasionally. On returning home I took the eldest out to practice her driving. It was what I call a two kerb outing. One was the centre of a roundabout, albeit it was very low; the other was when she mounted the pavement reversing around a corner. Having said that she got the reverse right second time, and the bay parking and parallel parking first time. So on balance, a decent effort.

Yours searching for keys in my sleep.

Jay